You Can Learn To Finish Without Burning Out

Unfinished projects are not harmless background noise, they take up real estate in your mind. We feel that cost even more in midlife, when “I’ll get to it later” starts to sound less like flexibility and more like a leak in our energy, confidence, and peace. So we get honest about what’s still open in your life, why it stays open, and how to finish in a way that honors your season instead of shaming you into burnout. 

We break down the most common reasons people do not follow through: perfectionism, goals that are too big or too vague, distractions that multiply, losing motivation when the “why” gets blurry, and misalignment when an old plan no longer matches current values. We also name a quieter barrier that shows up for a lot of high-capacity people: not wanting to ask for help. Along the way, we talk about the real cost of incompletion, including mental clutter, anxiety, self-comparison, and the identity trap of believing you are “not a finisher.” 

Then we offer a clear path forward with our FINISH framework for finishing what you start: Face the truth, Identify the real obstacle, Narrow the next step, Install support and structure, See and celebrate progress, and Honor completion or intentional release. You’ll also get practical homework, like the 15-minute finish and a four-column list to sort what to finish, release, pause, or redesign. 

If this conversation helps you, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more people navigating midlife can find the support they need. What’s one thing you are choosing to finish or release this week?

Subscribe @CoachStacyMLewis and @CoachWayneVIP

💃🏽Stacy M. Lewis
🌍 thestacymlewis.com
Schedule a Connecting Conversation
LinkedIn | Facebook | Instagram | YouTube

🎩Wayne Dawson
🌍 viptransformativeliving.com
Book a Discovery Call
LinkedIn | Facebook | Instagram

Spotify, Apple, iHeartRadio, Amazon 

Transcript

Unfinished Things Take Up Space

Coach Stacy 0:12

Have you ever looked around your house, your computer files, your journal, your business ideas, your relationships, goals, or even your dreams and thought, I've started a whole lot more than I've finished. Well, here's the truth. Unfinished things don't just take up physical space, they take up mental space, emotional space, and spiritual space too. Today, we are not here to beat anybody up. This is not the get your life together episode. Although, listen, if your life gets a little more together by the end, we receive that blessing. Today, we're talking about finishing what you start in a way that honors your season, your values, your energy, your purpose, and your future.

Coach Wayne 1:09

You found the midlife revolution unleashed, the space to embrace your wisdom, reignite your passions, and move boldly into what's next. I am Coach Wayne, the VIP coach.

Coach Stacy 1:22

And I'm Coach Stacy M. Lewis. We're here with insights, stories, and strategies to fuel your midlife journey. So take a breath, lean in. Your revolution starts now.

Coach Wayne 1:39

Hello, hello, hello.

Coach Stacy 1:42

Hello, hello, Stacy.

Coach Wayne 1:44

Always a pleasure on a Thursday to share this platform with you, my lady. And tonight we have a special episode of Midlife Revolution. Because guess what? They're all special episodes. Stacy, tonight.

Coach Stacy 1:59

I agree with you. I agree with you, Coach Wayne. I agree with you. It is always such a joy to be here with you. Welcome to our listener to Midlife Revolution Unleashed. I am Coach Stacy M. Lewis, a nonprofit executive, a midlife woman's coach, and a lover of God and his people. And I am so excited once again. I'm always excited to be here with my partner in podcasting crime. Coach Wayne, introduce yourself, Coach Wayne.

Coach Wayne 2:31

Thank you, Coach Stacy. I'm Coach Wayne Dawson, the VIP coach. I help men navigate midlife so that their second half can be their best half. Today, Stacy, we want to talk about just getting things done and why finishing what you started kind of lands differently for us when we are at that midlife juncture or phase or space.

Why Midlife Finishing Hits Different

Coach Stacy 3:02

You know, when we're in our 20s and 30s, we do a lot of stopping and starting because we're trying new things, or we're just in the process of building and discover something maybe doesn't work as well as we thought, or we're just trying to survive. We are not in our 20s or 30s anymore, and it definitely hits differently in midlife this idea, the need, the gift of finishing what you've started.

Coach Wayne 3:36

You know, in our twin is as you said, 30s, we are getting a lot of things done or tried. We we tend to take more risk and we're kind of figuring it out. But here at midlife, it requires a little bit more intentionality, I think, and discipline. After all, we come with, as you said in a previous show, the receipts. We've done some things in the past, and we kind of have a better way of tuning our fork as we move in to get things finished up.

Coach Stacy 4:09

I think when we're younger, we also find it much, much easier to say, I'll get to it later, or you know, I'll come back to it. And in this season of life, we have a very great sense that time is so precious. It is our one unrenewable resource, and that we no longer have the luxury, we'll say, of saying, I'll get to it later, or I'll come back to that. You know, we really have to make sure that we are acknowledging finishing what we start, and that it doesn't mean really forcing ourselves to complete something just because we began it, but we really need to make sure that we are embarking upon things that are going to have real meaning, purpose, fulfillment, contribute to where we're going in midlife.

Coach Wayne 5:14

In midlife, I can speak to the fact that a lot of men have unfinished business around their health, their career, finances, emotional conversations, relationships, and or personal dreams. You know, there is often that masculine pressure to just push through, Coach Stacy. But finishing well requires, as we said earlier, discipline, some honesty, support, and sometimes vulnerability.

Coach Stacy 5:47

Yeah, that's so good. And I'm sure that hey Coach Curtis, it's good to see you. Welcome to Midlife Revolution Unleashed. You are one of our favorite people. So we're so glad that you joined us tonight. Sure, Coach Curtis has something to add to that little nugget that you just dropped, Coach Wayne. The thought I have for women is that, you know, this always so much going on, right? We're we're we're building, we're we're growing, we're nurturing, we got ministry, we got business, we have aging parents and children. One of the things that jumps in the way of finishing what we've started is just allowing all of these other things to take priority or precedence over what we've started, right? So we're like, we then get caught in the, yeah, I got, I gotta get to that, right? It's not even that we say, I'll get to that later, but it's like, I gotta get to that. I gotta, this is on my to-do list, I got, I gotta keep that front and center. Yet these other areas of life, the multiple roles, just can jump in the way and push it to the back burner.

Coach Wayne 7:09

Yeah.

Why We Do Not Follow Through

Coach Wayne 7:10

And I think we may have also spoken to this before, not a whole episode, but we're always on time. We're never too late. And bearing that in mind, you know, I uh I've started many a thing that I was waiting for the right time. Stacey, this show is evidence of one of those things, right? When we started this show, we go all the way back. This is our our third season, and when we started season number one, 95 shows ago, I was holding off. I had thought about some stuff, so had you, and we got together, but I hadn't finished up. I had held this seed of a podcast for some time, and you were like, you know, Wayne, let's get it started. And the truth of the matter is, you got to get something started before you can get it finished. And I'm so happy that at this time and this season, it's not about perfection, it's just about getting it done. Get more.

Coach Stacy 8:10

Yeah, that's that's such a gift, Coach Wayne, because you know, we'll you took us right into why we don't finish what we start. And sometimes it is that that perfectionism, right? We're we're wanting it to be a certain way. And because we can't see, or we're holding that perfectionism as the ideal that we don't move. And I so appreciate you bringing that. It just makes me smile, really. Just going back to those early days, you know, finally getting to episode one, and here we are at episode 95. What are your thoughts about some other reasons about why we don't finish what we start?

Coach Wayne 9:00

Sometimes we make the vision just too large, too big, and it's it's it's overwhelming and even scary to think about where to go. Other times we get busy in terms of busyness, and we get distracted. Time flies.

Coach Stacy 9:20

Yeah, it it really does. I can tell you, you know, I feel like some of the other things are, I can easily recall times where I knew something was important and I had started it, but I had just totally lost motivation, right? Just totally lost that enthusiasm or even lost track of the why, right? Most often we've starting, we're starting something, and it's because there's a why. And losing track of the why has then you know caused like that, like just loss of of motivation. Thank you, Coach Curtis. You have been here from the beginning.

Coach Wayne 10:04

That's right, Coach C in the house. Stacey, there's also this alignment issue. We're not we're not we're not aligned with the mission and vision. And you know that it ain't right if you're not aligned. And alignment comes with a blessing because that's kind of we talk about our spiritual alignment. If you don't have that alignment, you kind of go half-step in. So oftentimes we get stuff not completed because we are out of alignment.

Coach Stacy 10:40

Yeah, yeah, that's so good. Recently, you know, I've I started, I had started some time ago another coaching certification program, right? Much longer, much deeper. And at a certain point, I definitely got experienced both distraction, discouragement, and one of the third piece I would add is that I also didn't want to ask for help. You know, sometime we don't finish what we start because we realize we need help, but we don't want to ask for it. And so it it took a little bit of self-coaching for me, and you know, I think you're pretty good when you can coach yourself, right? It took a little bit of self-coaching for me to remind me of my why to acknowledge the level of distraction, right? I I do have a nine to nine sometime, that's what it feels like, right? But to remind me of my level of distraction and to sense where and when I could ask for help, support, even if it was, you know, I need to take a week off just to finish all of these responsibilities in order to secure that next level of credentialing. So, so that's just my personal anecdote about not finishing or the hesitancy, kind of the barrier, experiencing the barriers to finishing what I started.

Coach Wayne 12:34

Yeah. Stacey, you know, this is that was a perfect use of self in terms of why. And it sounds like even in that, there could be some inkling of fear. Yeah. Just not wanting to deal with things.

Coach Stacy 12:49

All right, coach.

Coach Wayne 12:50

All right, and sometimes that that may that may appear. Stacey, you know, when we talk about the Paul syndrome, something that I I stand on, a lot of people don't finish because they don't think it's truly possible, so they don't even get started. They don't think they have the ability, the capacity, so they they they without the talent or know-how, they're scared to get going. And and lastly, they don't think either the goal is worthy or they are worthy. And so it stops them from getting started as well, from finishing up for sure.

Coach Stacy 13:25

Yeah, yeah. No, that's that's good, Coach Wayne. That's good. That that issue of worthiness is certainly worth repeating because often, to your point, as a coach, right, starting to dig into the why I could have been so easily distracted or discouraged. You know, I definitely, if I if I were my client, right, I would be digging deep on that very piece around worthiness. And as a coach, I would uh ask our listener, what's one thing you haven't finished? And what is the real reason it's still unfinished? Yeah.

Coach Wayne 14:12

Is it fatigue, fear, confusion, the lack of support? You name it. What is it? But but call it out, call it out, call it out, put a name on that thing, right?

Coach Stacy 14:26

We cannot heal what we don't reveal.

Coach Wayne 14:28

Yeah. And Stacey, is there a cost to unfinished commitments?

The Real Cost Of Incompletion

Coach Stacy 14:36

Well, well, well, yes, there is definitely a cost that discouragement is a cost. I can tell you using my same example of how much mental clutter, knowing that I needed to do these things in order to finish my submission, but not doing them really just caused more mental clutter. And it started to touch on a little bit of anxiety. Like I really need to do this. Am I gonna be able to do this? And so that the mental clutter, the anxiety, the questioning oneself, those are some of the things that come to mind when I think of the cost of unfinished commitments.

Coach Wayne 15:29

I agree. And I have had uh occasions where my self-esteem gets hit. I'm beginning to think, am I am I am I a loser? I can't finish the stuff. What is happening to me? How come? And then there's self-comparison, right? Because you're looking at somebody else down the road who is getting it done in your life, but what about me? You know, I got more training, more experience. What about me? And so confidence, you know, happens. Yes, yeah. If we're getting feedback from what is happening to us, we sometimes see that feedback and read it as failure or stagnation, which is not a powerful way to move forward.

Coach Stacy 16:17

Yep, yep, totally agree. You know, one of the things that we can experience, or one of the costs, is just being stuck, right? Often when clients come to me and I imagine to you, right, the feeling or the expression that they're most resonant with is I just feel stuck. Yes. And sometimes not completing the commitment or the thing that you started can cause one to feel stuck. And then you start avoiding things and you know, missing meaningful opportunities. And so it just it can really the cost can really, it's like money going out the door, right? It can become very expensive mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially to not finish what we start.

Coach Wayne 17:16

My good brother won't call his name, but it's my good brother. Uh, we've done some work together before, and he said to me, you know, nationally he's known, and he says to me, Yo, Brother Wayne, I'm in a season for just germinating and and and reflection right now. I said, Why is that brother? Almost popped his name. And he said, Because I feel like I get stuff started, but I don't get them done. And this brother has a list of accomplishments way high. And what I recognize is that his identity had started being impacted negatively from this conversation in his head that he's not a finisher, that he gets stuff started. In fact, he had worked with a lot of founders to get their business off. And I was saying to myself, man, you have to applaud yourself and celebrate those wins. So don't let your identity be caught up as a cost of your incompletion in something in the past.

Coach Stacy 18:22

Absolutely. And what a what a great depiction of the reality that it's not about your success or lack thereof. These are experiences that we all have, and we believe in the richness of midlife. And that means calling some of these things that we don't talk about often to account, right? So we're talking we're talking about naming it. And so your brother, it's not that he didn't have the receipts that we talked about a couple of episodes ago, right? The proof that he could do these things, but it was the cost that he was paying for not completing probably some important things, some things that he maybe wasn't sure about or whatever, but it was the cost of not completing those things that was then causing him to pay a price and questioning his identity, right? And in being stagnant, because now he's he's not moving forward as far as the things that he started, and he's probably not moving forward in some other areas solely because there's like now this whole stagnation going back to your point about worthiness and worth. It all factors in there, and I think every unfinished thing has it has a cost.

Coach Wayne 19:51

But here's the wonderful thing about the midlife situation, Stacy. It's not permanent, you don't have to wear it, you can shift your identity, can shift, and and it's never too late to do that shifting. It's not gonna be overnight necessarily, it's not gonna be, but but with intentionality, you can start shifting in terms of reducing that heavy cost that you decided to wear.

Coach Stacy 20:18

Yes, absolutely. You know, I think of a number of scriptures just like flooded my brain. One talks about how your latter will be greater than your past. Additionally, we think about the fact that the end of a thing is going to be better than the beginning. So if that start, that beginning is a little messy, or if it's the start that has you so super charged up, remember the wisdom and the maturity that we now have to remind ourselves to see it through. Because that's where that's where the abundance is, right? That's where we're gonna we're gonna see kind of the next open door, the next opportunity in this process.

Coach Wayne 21:16

That's right. Stacey in the green room, you shared a little joke with me. You want to share it with our with our audience?

Coach Stacy 21:22

Oh, I had a joke, you know, I'm I'm not really that funny, but but but the joke was that, you know, so many of us have so many unfinished things that our unfinished things are like forming a support group and really counseling and coaching each other in the corner, like, yo, here we are. We're meet we're meeting again. You unfinished, I'm unfinished, we just unfinished. Where yeah, yeah.

Coach Wayne 21:53

Where where are we going with this? Yes, yes, and the truth of the matter is, Stacey. At the end of the day, we're one decision away from getting completion in anything we do. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Deciding What To Finish Or Drop

Coach Wayne 22:10

But but as we talk about this days, we talked about discernment as well and staging rather than just aging, which which which helps us to understand that not every business that we have unfinished needs to be finished. Not everything we started, we need to go get finished. And we should know that.

Coach Stacy 22:32

And as seasoned people, we all need reminders every now and then, right? Not everything unfinished needs to be finished. It might have been a good idea, whether it be a month ago or you know, a year ago, whenever it was that that thing was started. But let's let's talk about some responses to unfinished things that allow us to question whether it is something that actually needs to be finished.

Coach Wayne 23:04

Yeah. In terms of responses, we need to ask, does it serve us still? That's one of them. May have served us years ago. Person who had a family that was younger may have started on a project for the family, but kids are grown and nobody cares now about that. So is it worth it? Does it serve us? Does it serve the larger picture anymore?

Coach Stacy 23:33

Yeah. Is it aligned? You talked about alignment a little earlier. Is it aligned with the current values? And does it still matter? Does it still matter today? Whether you started it yesterday or five years ago, does it still matter today? And if so, then you're talking, you should think about finishing it and making a plan to do so.

Coach Wayne 24:01

And this is funny to look at it this way, but we should also ask, what does releasing this thing look like? What would it do? Can we afford to release it? And if it does, then why not?

Coach Stacy 24:17

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, what does what does releasing it make room for? Right? How often are we allowing that mental clutter of the of the unfinished to occupy real estate in our mind, in our spirit, and our emotions when if it's no longer in alignment, and if the timing is not right, or you know, if to your earlier point the original vision was too big or too complicated or too expensive, how can we release it, repackage it in a way that makes room for something else, room for something good, something maybe to even foster the finishing of that thing.

How Coaching Helps You Discern

Coach Wayne 25:15

And that's a good segue, Coach Stacey, to talk about inviting a coach or a professional to come in and help with the decision. And so there are blind spots. And when you can't discern if it's time to drop a thing or complete the thing, a coach, a coach can help you separate fear from discernment, procrastination from wisdom, and pressure from purpose to help you with the decision.

Coach Stacy 25:46

Absolutely. And every good coach has a coach. So know that we're not just talking about it from the perspective of being coaches, we're also talking about it from the perspective of being midlife folks that have also been coached.

Coach Wayne 26:04

Coach Stacey, let's drop a framework for the listeners to take their pen and papers out so they can have something to capture for sure, for sure, from today's episode. If they haven't I love it. I'm gonna give you a little drum roll for your framework. All right. On the screen, on the screen, you're seeing the are you seeing it, Stacy? Yeah, yeah. The finish framework.

The FINISH Framework For Follow-Through

Coach Wayne 26:33

And this is a strong framework to help you with identifying how to discern or decide what to finish. The F stands for facing the truth. You cannot finish what you refuse, as Stacy said early, earlier on, to honestly name. So the first step is to face the truth without shame. What is unfinished? Why is it unfinished? What is it costing you? What is it teaching you? And this again, folks, is not about condemnation, it's about clarity.

Coach Stacy 27:06

Correct. It is about clarity. We talked about the fact that we've all been there. So the I in the finished framework is identify the real obstacle. We talked about that a little while ago, right? That is it, is it just I'm tired, or is it I'm really afraid? So let's identify the real obstacle by getting honest with what's truly in the way.

Coach Wayne 27:37

Love it. And the end is to focus now. So we're talking about narrowing the step, the next step. Big goals often stay unfinished because they're just too vague, too expansive. Finish the book sounds overwhelming. Write for 20 minutes on Thursday night is more doable. Get healthy sounds vague. Walk for 15 minutes after lunch three days a week is doable. Launch a business sounds huge, but write the offer description is doable. So the next step needs to be so clear that your brain cannot argue you down. That was so good.

Coach Stacy 28:25

I I was just in it. So I have another eye, right? And that is install support and structure. Coach Wayne talked about the value of having a coach, the value of having that level of deep support, partnering with you. The support and the structure, you know, the discipline is is beautiful, right? Discipline can be a beautiful thing. But this is not only about discipline, this is really about the structure that will help you survive real life, right? Whether that structure be putting it on your calendar or getting a coach or developing a system of checklist or removing the distractions, you need a support and a structure to help you finish strong.

Coach Wayne 29:26

Yeah. And I like this one. I use this a lot in my coaching, and that is see and celebrate progress. Many, many people quit because they do not see progress quickly enough, but progress counts even before completion. Let that sink in. Progress counts even before completion. We're talking about the process, right? And so every page written counts, every call made counts, every boundary boundary on it counts, every conversation attempted counts. You know, just every small act, every small win counts. Track the progress, celebrate the progress, let your brain experience evidence that you are moving and building momentum.

Coach Stacy 30:18

That's good. Let your brain experience the evidence. That's good stuff, right there, Coach Wayne. And the H is for honor, not just the completion, but also the release. So honor the completion or the release. The real the reality is they they both matter, right? Because they're both your intention. You're intentionally completing or intentionally releasing. If you finish it, celebrate it, reflect, see what it taught you. If it, if you release it, release it with intention, not with self-judgment, not with shame. Bless the lesson. Whatever it taught you, bless that, receive that, and name what you are choosing instead. Create a path of closure. So you're gonna honor completion or release. That closure is completion.

Coach Wayne 31:21

I love it, Coach Stacey. And that's the finished framework that we're offering today. And let's just offer something else. I love it. Love it. Hey, if you're listening, if you're listening to us on Midlife Revolution Unleashed and you somehow got caught up, and you've been listening for weeks, months, but you have still to subscribe. Please hit that subscribe button. That goes a long way. We'll get the word out to more folks like yourself.

Coach Stacy 31:53

Yeah, absolutely. Don't forget to share this episode and other episodes that you like. We truly, truly appreciate your listenership. Well, we got Coach Wayne to bring it on home. Some homework. Oh, some play, home play. So some home play. How about that? Some home play. You want to start off with a home play, Stace? Sure thing.

Home Play And Simple Next Steps

Coach Stacy 32:22

One of the things I I like and we've talked about in multiple episodes is this idea of better managing our time. And managing our time is so important as we talk about finishing what we start. So, one idea, one home play activity is to give yourself the 15-minute finish. Whatever the task is, right? I'm gonna send the email, 15 minutes, finish it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna file the document. I'm gonna make the call. I'm gonna take the walk. I'm gonna pray, journal, declare, whatever that thing is that you that is going to move you, start the momentum and get you toward the finish line is the 15-minute finish. It is finishing those small, making those small wins, celebrating those wins to help you continue that momentum.

Coach Wayne 33:26

What you got, I'm glad you added you added one piece there that I'm so happy. And we talk about work-life balance, and you added take the walk. Sometimes we forget to add that 15 minutes that says self-care. So we have everything in, do the emails, schedule the appointment, all that stuff. Yes. But to take a break for 15 minutes to take care of self, meditate, take that walk, stretch. That's important. So I'm glad you added that. And Stacey, the finish release, pause, redesign list. Make four columns, four columns, a finish, a release, a pause, and a redesign. And just identify what needs to be done and let them land where they should in one of these columns. It will help you in terms of organizing your mind. Place each one in the column and let it roll. That's it.

Coach Stacy 34:27

I love it, Coach Wayne. That's it. That's a good old brain dump and organize it and make something good happen. So let's kind of wrap it up, bring it on home with some takeaways, right?

Key Takeaways And Closing Encouragement

Coach Stacy 34:42

Finish finishing builds self-trust. Unfinished things cost energy, whether it be mental, emotional, spiritual, or financial. Discernment matters. Motivation is not enough. Completion can be spiritual stewardship.

Coach Wayne 35:05

And remember, you are not your stop and start projects. You are not your abandoned attempt. You are not the thing you started but failed to complete. That's not who you are. You are still becoming. That's it. That's Stacy. How do the great folk see the great coach, Stacey?

Coach Stacy 35:27

That's right. If you need support, this is where coaching can help. And I can be reached at all of these lovely social handles that you find in the show notes, but also at the stacymlewis.com. Coach Wayne, share with our listeners how they can get some conversation and some amplification with you.

Coach Wayne 35:56

Yeah, and Stacy, let me tell you something that's so cool. You can find Coach Wayne this week watching the New York Knicks.

Coach Stacy 36:10

What? Wait, we're gonna digress for just a second. Go next. Okay, okay. Go Coach Wayne.

Coach Wayne 36:19

I couldn't help that, Stacey. But in the meantime, just go on VIP Transformative Living.com, see all my handles there, reach out to me, and I'll be sure to get back to you. Stacy, until next time, you know what I say. I'm gonna see you at the top. And you, Stace?

Coach Stacy 36:35

I'm cheering you on. Thanks for tuning in to Midlife Revolution Unleashed. We're grateful you're part of this journey.

Coach Wayne 36:45

If you love this episode, share it, subscribe, and hit that notification bell so you don't miss another episode.

Coach Stacy 36:52

I'm Coach Stacy, and I'm cheering you on.

Coach Wayne 36:55

And I'm Coach Wayne, and I'll see you at the top.