Midlife Revolution Unleashed

Midlife, Aligned

• Stacy M. Lewis & Wayne Dawson • Season 3 • Episode 77

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That quiet midlife question—“Is this all there is?”—can feel like a verdict. We turn it into an invitation. Together we look beyond trophies and timelines to uncover alignment, purpose, and the deeper ease that arrives when your values, gifts, and faith line up with your daily choices. Wayne and Stacy share how achievement differs from alignment, why restlessness often signals room rather than failure, and what it means to “go vertical” by letting purpose guide the next season.

We explore cultural wisdom that reframes aging as ascent, not decline. From Japanese practices of releasing responsibilities to mentor, to Ghanaian traditions that elevate elders, we highlight models that help us trade weight for reach and performance for contribution. You’ll hear how the Third Age—after striving and building—becomes integration: harvesting experience, reframing stories, and investing in others without losing yourself to someone else’s metrics.

You’ll leave with practical next steps: prompts to surface your true longings, journaling to map patterns, and simple actions that build momentum without forcing. Try questions like what truth keeps resurfacing when things get quiet and where am I craving depth instead of distance. Ask a trusted friend how they see you evolving and notice where tension signals misalignment. We close with affirmations—my worth is not measured by my output, I am allowed to evolve—to anchor a season defined by purpose beyond performance.

If this conversation sparks something, tap follow, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to help more people find the show. Your next step doesn’t need a five-year plan—just an honest start.

Subscribe @CoachStacyMLewis and @CoachWayneVIP

💃🏽Stacy M. Lewis
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🎩Wayne Dawson
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Coach Stacy:

You've done what you're supposed to do. You've shown up, you've achieved things others admire, and yet there's a quiet question that keeps surfacing. Is this all there is? Let's talk about.

Coach Wayne:

You found the midlife revolution unleashed. The space to embrace your wisdom, reignite your passions, and move boldly into what's next. I am Coach Wayne, the VIP coach.

Coach Stacy:

And I'm Coach Stacy M. Lewis. We're here with insights, stories, and strategies to fuel your midlife journey. So take a breath, lean in. Your revolution starts now.

Coach Wayne:

Hello, hello. Hey Stacy. Do you know that we're we're almost through January, the first month of the year 2026? They say time flies, but it's supersonic, it seems to me, right now, Stace. We were just celebrating the new year, the other day. How are you doing, Stacy?

Coach Stacy:

I am doing well. You are absolutely right. And that is a prime reminder to live the life we have. And if we don't feel like we're living, we need to get busy living. Welcome to Midlife Revolution Unleashed. I am Stacy M. Lewis. I'm a nonprofit executive, a midlife women's coach, and a lover of God and his people. And I'm so excited to be here with my co-host, my esteemed co-host, the dude on the rise. Coach Wayne, what's going on?

Coach Wayne:

Stacey, I'm happy, just delighted, feeling simply marvelous sharing this platform with you as usual. And I'm Coach Wayne, the VIP coach, and I work with men of color to help them navigate midlife so that their second half can be their best half. What do we have for the good people today, Stacy?

Coach Stacy:

Oh, Wayne, I'm excited because today's show is basically Is This All There Is? I don't know if you've asked yourself that question, Wayne, but I certainly have. And today on Midlife Revolution Unleashed, we're really exploring this question. Um, I think many people in this season of life carry often silently. And it is this all there is. Not from that point of failure, but from a place of success and responsibility, um, and that lived experience. So that's what we're gonna chat about today. Uh, the conversation is about purpose and spirit and listening to what this season is really asking us.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah. And this is not a loaded situation here. We're we're talking about no shame, to reach this place, midlife, and ask the question, because there's a sense of restlessness, a sense of uncertainty, a question of, is it all there is? You know, we've built up uh expectations in terms of the previous seasons of our life where we were in discovery, in in provision and pro and and protection and doing all those things that we're supposed to do by the books. And we get to that not ripe old age, but we get to that age of discernment where we start asking the question. I'm not fulfilled, I've done the game by the rules, and I'm at midlife and I'm looking at what's gone ahead and what's left before us, and I'm in this place right now. So there's no shame. It's it's it's it's reasonable to be at this season and ask ourselves those questions, don't you think, Stacey?

Coach Stacy:

Absolutely. Um, you know, so many of us have done pretty well in this life, right? Have really um accomplished many of our dreams or aspirations, um, have made some strides, have uh whether it be grown the bank account was one of your goals or uh getting that promotion, you know, many of us have done all right and yet still feel a little restlessness around that. Is this all there is? And it doesn't mean we're not grateful, right, for what we have. Um, but it means that there's still there's still more, right? You and I often talk about still becoming, uh, there's still opportunities, there's still windows, open doors, and um really naming, I think, the the longing without shame to your point is is a critical part.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah. This season, Stacey, challenges us to look at achievements versus alignment, and there's a difference. Many of us have along the way picked up the shiny objects, we've gotten the goalpost, we've we've done these things, right? We have the the Lambeau and the Rollerous in the garage. Well right, we have we have the huge bank account, we have the family, perfect family of two and a half with uh the picket fence and the garage. We have all those things, we've achieved these successes, but are we moving in terms of purpose? Are we living on purpose? Is there alignment in terms of what we're doing? Because if there is no alignment, it seems empty or there's a gap, and that's what we're talking about in this episode. Are we in alignment, not just achieving?

Coach Stacy:

I I love that, Wayne. Um, you know, sometimes the discomfort isn't really because something is wrong, right? It is because there's there's room, there's room for something deeper that's that's really trying to get our attention. Um, it is such a sweet season in life when we get to say that we have done those things and we have, I don't have that Lambeau in the garage, but my Nissan Ultima's kicking. It's kicking, y'all. It's kicking. Um you know that we that we have these things, yet I can recall intimately, you know, that that deeper longing, recognizing that deeper longing after um getting my son out the door and getting him, you know, to a real solid point of of adulthood and after um achieving on the job. And you know, so all of this this season of after uh that really resulted in the ability to begin to tap into some of those those deeper longings.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah. Sometimes this unsettling or this questioning of ourself is not because something went wrong, it's because there's something deeper for us to get to. So it's not about the breadth and the width of our successes or achievements or lifelong doing, it's about now going vertical, it's about deeper, it's about us finding more meaning. And you know, this longing to your point, Stacy, is not about shaming ourselves and where why aren't we there? And oftentimes that why aren't we there is based on a measurement that somebody set for us, a standard that's not our own. When we talk about alignment, Stacy, we're talking about something related to a divine principle, faith, and uh an assignment, so to speak.

Coach Stacy:

I love that you said it's the opportunity to go vertical, right? You and I both being believers, um, you know, believe at the top of that vertical is God. And as we go down into the vertical, right, we then get to connect our deeper longings with our higher power. Like what a gift of you know, of this season. And so I I do love the the draw that you just presented between achievement and alignment because that vertical alignment, allowing us to really look at our faith and our purpose in conjunction with where we are right now, um, is what allows us to experience the richness of midlife.

Coach Wayne:

And so I think we're talking about at this point, the question then becomes, and Stacy, if I'm jumping the gun, redirect me here. The question becomes, is this who I really am? And is this all I really am? Is there more in the becoming of who I am? Right? So you've done great. We're not saying there you aren't enough, but we're saying maybe there can be more to whom you are, you're enough as you are, but midlife gives you a chance, Stacy, to look back and harvest the learned experience along the way. And as I like to say, Stacy, to look at the opportunity to start saging with the aging, and that's about true discernment and alignment. Is this all I am?

Coach Stacy:

Yes, yes, yes, and yes, um, what's so beautiful is that we really get we have permission to ask ourselves, even with my successes, how satisfied am I? Are my successes my current fulfillment? Right? Some sometimes our successes, you know, happen five years ago, two years ago, even you know, last month. But are those successes my current fulfillment? Do I sense that I'm really tapping into all of my gifts and heart's desires as I pursue the next thing? Even if the next thing is reading to your grandchildren, right? That that is is that where the meaning is? And so I I love the concept of the question beneath the question, because the primary question is, is this all there is? But then we get to add layers so that we can go deeper into that vertical and really reconnect with our current longings and um begin to bring those up and out. And so I I love both the alignment uh versus achievement, the vertical, and really asking these questions beneath the question.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah, I think we were speaking with someone the other day uh who we'll have on our show uh in the future, Stacey.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh-huh.

Coach Wayne:

And he pointed out that the Japanese in their culture, they start when when one gets to a certain age, you know, that we call getting ready for retirement, instead of taking on more, they start releasing, unleashing some of the stuff that over the years they were responsible or had accumulated. So let's say they had a job uh in a in a high-functioning situation, they start taking on less responsibilities because they get more into a mentoring guiding position for those coming through and coming up, right? So instead of looking to grab more, they they sort of at this stage say, what can I let go of in terms of the baggage and the stuff that I've carried up to now to take on a different role, you know, because in fact, midlife has a new calling for us, and we are only positioned relative to others to be in that space because of our past experience and the wisdom that we have we have garnered.

Coach Stacy:

Yes, and and applause to the Japanese culture where they honor, right? They elevate all of that wisdom in that individual that is kind of leading up to retirement, right? They honor that to the point where they are still investing that from a company standpoint, so that those others on the job in the company, those younger generations, those that maybe um are a couple of rungs down from that position, get to pick the brain, get to glean, get to really absorb, right? Not take notes in an hour and then that person is gone, but really absorb and and take what they said and put it into practice and then see what happens and then go back, right? What what what a gift. And often we part of it is our society, um, but we're we're not recognizing or lauding all of that wisdom, meaning, knowledge, experience that we have, even to ourselves, right? That then gives us that permission to tap into, like, okay, is this is this all there is, right? Because I have really achieved, accomplished so much. And so, um, yeah, I I just think it's it's rich.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah. I was in Ghana, as you know, Stacy, the other day, and uh I I was delighted to see how they honor in that community aging. Unfortunately, uh, somewhere along the line as we came west, we lost some of that. But you can tell that folks are being prepared to be elevated in the community as they get older, right? And so um it's something that we need to look at, I think, as an opportunity, a great opportunity at midlife to start preparing for your next season. And so, you know, um, I take on uh mentoring right now with not just young people, but folks who have not gotten to the mid-age, right, as it were. And and uh it's just very rewarding at a time like now, Stacy.

Coach Stacy:

It really is, it really is a beautiful time. And you know, we we recognize that everyone everyone's experiences are different, and our heart's desire here is to really bring to you the possibility that if you're asking this question, is there all is this all there is? There is great possibility for digging into, for naming the longing without shame, and for questioning beneath the question, and really asking yourself some thoughtful questions like what truth keeps resurfacing when things get quiet? Right? It's often in those quiet moments that we really begin to reconnect with what what's happening on on the inside, what those deeper longings are.

Coach Wayne:

And be obedient once you are hearing the resonance of the truth, right? Uh, that's where we become aligned with purpose. Uh, just become obedient, not just hear the truth, but to follow through on your truth. Um, Stacy, this period in some groups uh is referred to as the third age. And it's interesting because the first age is you know, you're fresh out of college or you know, your early stage of life. It's about learning, forming, striving, right? You're you're in that hustle, bustle, uh, breaking through. Second stage, you're building, producing, um, you know, making your name in the game. And this here, the third stage is integration, it's bringing it all together, right? Uh, contributing from experience and wisdom.

Coach Stacy:

Yes, yes, indeed. Um, you know, many of us were taught how to succeed in the earlier seasons of life, um, but not how to listen to ourselves, um, to our inner longings, and not how to listen when success no longer answers those questions. And so I look forward to learning more and hearing more about the concepts of the third age, which I know is um embraced or acknowledged in many cultures, and I would go back for just a second uh to your point about um, you know, Ghana and your experience in watching them laud um the seniors or the elders, right? Those those are some of the things that were stripped from us culturally, and um, you know, I I love that we're having these conversations that begin to bring back the meaning for those of us in midlife and hopefully speak to younger generations to see the value of lauding right the the older generations. And uh, you know, I'm honored to still have some older generation um in my family and in my circle and You know, I appreciate that uh even as I get older, right? To still elevate them and amplify them as I ask some of these questions um about you know what what success is and is that is that answering the deeper message or the deeper calling.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah, yeah. And in this third stage, you know, uh in business, oftentimes people call it the messy middle as well because it's it can be a mess, right? It can. But but but you have the tools to kind of navigate it that you wouldn't have had previously. And we're not saying disband and let go of all that has happened to now. We're saying this is the period to look at things and reframe, right? To be able to give it through new lenses a new sort of definition or or intention.

Coach Stacy:

Absolutely. We have to bring all that we are, right? All of those experiences from the young age, all of these experiences from the younger middle age, and as we older middle age, um, we we need to bring those experiences. That's what allows us to really ask that deeper question, like, okay, is this all there is? The Nissan Ultima is is in the is in the garage, you know, is in the covered garage, you know, the house is not paid for, but it's on the way. And, you know, is this all there is? I'm an executive and an organization and you know, sat on boards and all of that. Is this all there is? And I don't know about you, Wayne, but for me, that's certainly, you know, one of the drivers behind um wanting to pour into other women uh and become a coach and a mentor because of that. Is this all there is? And the answer was no, there's more of me that is still um still becoming yet able and open to the opportunity to um to pour into others.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah, I love that, Stacey. And for me, you know, to your point, uh, it's purpose beyond performance. It's what it is. You know, we are performative all this time. We gotta not just prove to ourselves, but oftentimes it's about proving to others there's this external drive to compete with the rest of the world to say that you're worthy or or not, but just to even to get in the game sometimes of being accepted in certain circles, you have to prove that at a certain age you have done the buying of the house or the marriage and the two kids and the dog spot and all this extra stress that we put on ourselves with the idea that you're at the stage where you should be doing this, you should have checked off a certain amount of countries that you've visited by now or else. Is that success? That's not success. Certainly, where did that come from? And so, Stacy, so many of us spend a lifetime not really appeasing our core call. My friend Sean Dubb says, Don't stall your call, stop stalling your calling, jump right in and let's begin. So now we are at this stage where it's about who are we becoming? Really? You know, if you stripped everything that I've done, you know, trophies and awards and and bonuses and all that, am I still whole? Am I still me? And and what does that mean? And that's what I think we're challenged with at this stage, Stacey.

Coach Stacy:

Yeah, it does connect with uh identity a little bit, and we'll have to we'll have to deep dive that in another episode. Um the reality is now as we talk about purpose beyond performance, right? We get to ask, is what once motivated me still sustaining me or still driving me? Um you know, purpose is really in this season is less about doing more and more about being truer and more authentic um to who we are now uh and to our deeper longings.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah. So purpose, I think, is we talked about alignment, it's it's it's matching up the who you are uh with your values and knowing that you're serving a calling, something we talked about, the the level of depth and profound movement, and and so purpose is about that, it's it's the experience, it's not just the performing piece, it's the experience of becoming uh who you were meant to be, being obedient and aligning.

Coach Stacy:

Yeah, I can't tell you how many times I've heard the word obedient recent recently. So I think that that's something uh I appreciate you using that word, and and uh it is it is worth acknowledging. Um, you know, the purpose is sometimes about reclaiming what's essential. We talk about values uh throughout our episodes and reconnecting with those values and aligning it with the question of is this all there is? And um where is where is my faith? What are my gifts? What are my talents? How do I really want to use them, can combine them in this season of life, right? To to couple them with my knowledge and my life's experiences in a way that feels meaningful.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah. And Stacey, here's the here's the the nice thing about it all. When you are on purpose, right? Uh, we may have said this before in another episode, things kind of flow as you go and it grows because you're in alignment. So there is no forcing of things to happen. A lot of what we do up to now, we're testing and we're forcing and we're trying to make breakthroughs and so forth. When we when we come to peace in terms of that alignment, Stacey, the people, places, and things that are meant to carry us through sort of appear. It's almost like magic, and you start having a life that seems effortless. And I don't mean you don't put work into it, you don't feel the stress of forcing things anymore. You're at peace almost. Right. That makes sense, right?

Coach Stacy:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, this is the season uh a voice, of visibility, um, of honoring self. And after making it through all those seasons of holding everything together, you know, we really get to now honor ourselves in a way that is not self-aggrandizement, but that is connected, aligned, as you said, with who we are now, with our faith, with our deeper calling and our deeper longings, and moving all of that forward in a powerful way.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah. And in terms of integrating all of what we're talking about here in a practical way, you don't have to be able to see the the mile down the road plan. You just need to own where you are now, be present, and take the first step towards the purpose.

Coach Stacy:

Yeah, yes, yes, yes, that's good stuff. That's good stuff. I would say one of the questions for the next step is what is my soul asking for now?

Coach Wayne:

And and folks, you can you can journal this stuff, right? So you can begin to plot the path of your thinking and your walk. And one of the ways that um we sometimes use as coaches is to help people record stuff by journaling, right? Um this path. Uh, another awareness practice is notice where you feel tension and restlessness. And if there's tension and restlessness, to the point I made earlier, you're maybe forcing something, so you want to release this point. You don't want to live a life filled with tension and stress. Release, let it go.

Coach Stacy:

I love it, I love it. Um, here are a couple more prompts. Uh, what feels unfinished? Not because I failed, but because I've grown. Where am I craving depth instead of distance? And what am I being invited to honor in this season?

Coach Wayne:

Yeah, and I have people around me that hold me up in many ways, Stacey. And look in your circle. If there's someone you trust, you can ask them how do you see me evolving? You know, and if there's someone you trust, then take heed because oftentimes people see the 360 around you, which is what coaches do, right? We see we are at the 40,000 feet level and we're seeing 360 around you, the blind spot. Sometimes we need to be hearkened with someone who can see that for us, who we trust and know to help us move in to the next stage.

Coach Stacy:

Yeah, I I really like that question. And, you know, for those folks that you consider safe people in your space, um, it's an excellent opportunity to have a conversation about how you're seen by others that know who you are and how they see you evolving. I really like that question, Coach Wayne.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah. Any affirmations for the folks, Stacy? Because you know, we believe strong in affirmations.

Coach Stacy:

Sure thing. Get a little declaration in there. My worth is not measured by my output. Amen and amen.

Coach Wayne:

And give yourself permission, Stacey, to say, I'm allowed to evolve, right? I can change, you know. Uh, I'm not an old fogey, I can't do something new. I am evolving, I'm allowed to think differently to change. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Stacey.

Coach Stacy:

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

You're laughing, Stacey.

Coach Stacy:

Because you said old fogey. There was some, there was something about that one that just gave me a little bit of the chuckle. Uh, I would say, Coach Wayne, to our listener, if you've been asking, is this all there is? That question may not be a problem to solve, it may be an invitation to receive if you are a dude, you are invited to reach out to Coach Wayne if you want to either check out his uh free assessment or connect with him as a coach. Would that be about right, Coach Wayne?

Coach Wayne:

Yes, ma'am. I would love to uh just meet with folks and help them figure out their next step.

Coach Stacy:

Absolutely.

Coach Wayne:

And Stacy, how about you?

Coach Stacy:

And for those sisters, here I am. Uh, our goal is to see you sore. Um, you know, I I always say I'm cheering you on. Um, but we know my partner over there in the other square.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah, we'll see you where. I'll see you at the top, Stace. We've come to another end. We're wrapping it up. And so let's uh bid the folks a wonderful rest of the week and weekend, right, Stace.

Coach Stacy:

Thanks for tuning in to Midlife Revolution Unleashed. We appreciate you and hope that this episode, along with the others, have been of service, of gift, and of blessing to you. Thanks for tuning in to Midlife Revolution Unleashed. We're grateful you're part of this journey.

Coach Wayne:

If you love this episode, share it, subscribe, and hit that notification bell so you don't miss another episode.

Coach Stacy:

I'm Coach Stacy, and I'm cheering you on.

Coach Wayne:

And I'm Coach Wayne, and I'll see you at the top.

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