Midlife Revolution Unleashed

We Put the Inner Child to Bed—And It’s Time for Recess

• Stacy M. Lewis & Wayne Dawson • Season 3 • Episode 66

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We challenge the myth that midlife means getting serious and losing wonder, and show how curiosity, awe, playfulness, and childlike fearlessness become fuel for resilience, creativity, and even longevity. Practical tools—NLP anchoring, the Wonder List, and a six-step review—turn inspiration into action at home, at work, and in relationships.

• why life feels flat when outcomes outrun experiences
• awe as a nervous system reset that primes learning
• lightness as a leadership choice in tense moments
• flexibility versus rigidity in midlife habits
• safe exhilaration for growth without recklessness
• NLP anchoring to recall joy on demand
• Wonder List to re-sensitize attention and delight
• gendered traps of outcome chasing and over-functioning
• reviving curiosity to renew intimacy and connection
• six-step review to identify strengths, drop labels, and plan playful risks
• play personalities and planning a play date with yourself

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💃🏽Stacy M. Lewis
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🎩Wayne Dawson
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Coach Stacy:

When was the last time you let yourself play? Really play. Not for productivity, not for fitness, not for your kids, but just because it delighted you.

Coach Wayne:

You know, somewhere between paying the bills and raising families, many of us misplace the awe and the sense of wonder that we had. But what if reclaiming it is actually more than a contribution to your resilience? What if it adds joy and even longevity? You found the midlife revolution unleashed, the space to embrace your wisdom, reignite your passions, and move boldly into what's next. I am Coach Wayne, the VIP coach.

Coach Stacy:

And I'm Coach Stacy M. Lewis. We're here with insights, stories, and strategies to fuel your midlife journey. So take a breath, lean in. Your revolution starts now. I am your co-host, Coach Stacy M. Lewis, a nonprofit executive, a lover of God and his people, and a coach to midlife women. Coach Wayne, introduce yourself.

Coach Wayne:

Thank you, Coach Stacy. My name is Coach Wayne Dawson, the VIP coach, and I work with midlife men, coaching them through midlife transitions so that their second half can be their best half. Stacy.

Coach Stacy:

Sir.

Coach Wayne:

What do we got for the great folk folks this weekend or this week rather?

Coach Stacy:

This is going to be a great conversation because so much of midlife to your opening points are focused on paying the bills and raising family and all of that stuff, right? Going to work, building the business. And so often I know I found for myself and have certainly seen with some of my clients that we need to reignite that spark, that midlife gift of curiosity and play. And that is what we are talking about today.

Coach Wayne:

You know, Stacy, one of the things I think we are trapped in is society tells us that as we get older, we got to get serious. We got to put aside the almost the curiosity that you speak of, the wonderment, the joy of play. And so sometimes I think as folks get older, they take themselves so seriously that uh, you know, life gets kind of flat.

Coach Stacy:

Flat, what a great word, right? Because when when things are flat, that's not so good. Um, and the reality is that we have to invite um wonder back into our lives, invite curiosity, invite fearlessness. So this is really a great conversation um to have. What, Wayne, when you think about this topic, right? We've talked about it a lot in the green room and getting ready for this episode. What's the first thing that comes to mind for you?

Coach Wayne:

Childlike ness, uh, sort of an exploration, uh almost uh an innocence, as it were. In other words, just I I remember Stacey as a kid. I played, we all did for the most part, but I always wanted to get the fun and the joy out of whatever I was doing, right? I mean, even at church when we sat down in the pews, I figured a way out to have fun. You know what I mean, Stace?

Coach Stacy:

Yes, yes, I yes, I do know what you mean. I know what you mean about sitting in the pew as a child and and doing your best uh to make it fun as you maybe struggle to pay attention a little bit. Uh, and yet I think it is that awe, that wonder, that curiosity that helps us move forward in a way with a different level of joy. And that's that's the thing, right? You want that childhood, even sitting in the pew, it was about how can I make this a little bit more exciting? How can I enjoy this more? And it doesn't mean that we don't still have to do the day-to-day things, but the reality is that we in this season need to reconnect with that childlikeness as it relates to curiosity, wonder, playfulness, and fearlessness.

Coach Wayne:

I will say I remember one thing about my dad, Stacy. He had that laughter that was infectious. So when he came around the corner, whatever he found funny and he was laughing at, everybody in the room just had to laugh. And, you know, as as old as he was, and I know that that kind of helped the entire environment to lighten up. Stacey, I I I just like that that feeling. And so wherever I can capture that, I want to be able to recapture that moment and that energy and and that joy.

Coach Stacy:

Yeah. Um, we were looking at uh some of that positive psychology research, and it really indicates that awe, that feeling of awe, right? Many of us stand in awe of God and and all God is doing, all God has done, just that awe of being alive, the awe of your environment, it resets our nervous system in a way that opens us up to new learning. And in many episodes, Wayne, you and I talk about pursuing learning even in this season. So think about this opportunity to engage a sense of curiosity and awe and knowing that it's opening a door for you to explore new learning.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah, I like that. Stacy, as we grow older, we always say aging is out of the door. We're saging. And as we start saging, the idea that we could learn more is important to connect us with our reality. If we start surrendering and saying this is it, then the growth has stopped, right? In fact, there might be a away from growth which is declining. So the curiosity I find, Stacy, as we age is important because we want to explore and go in and see things at a different angle than perhaps what we have been accustomed to along the way. And there's nothing like discovering something new, Stacy. It adds a rush of adrenaline.

Coach Stacy:

That's right. That's right. I was thinking about, you know, this sense of um what it is when we lack playfulness and lack that that joy, that sense of wonderment. And, you know, it also often comes at the cost of flexibility. How many do you know in our beautiful season of life that are just inflexible, that have very little joy? And anytime you're asking or encouraging them to think outside the box to do something new, uh the answer and the feeling is one of such rigid confinement uh that it just does not invite you right into a sense of excitement.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah. Today I was visiting with at the new house where you know the workers were in there working on some painting and some other stuff, and they leave the doors wide open with an AC blast, and of course, don't make any sense. So I'd said this several times before, and I did it today. But in doing it, there was a sense of of jest and um almost boyish playfulness. But the message was very clearly delivered without offending anyone, and they just joked back and got right into closing up the doors and talking about the bill and so forth and pointing fingers at each other, and it made it just such a light, easy, what would have been stressful, perhaps even argumentative. You know, we sometimes take ourselves so seriously, Stacy.

Coach Stacy:

Yes. What I love about that, Wayne, is you made a choice, right? You decided that, okay, I I can either come in, you know, like the hard guy and no, no levity, no just straight to the fact, or I can approach it in a different way. And not only does that maintain or help to maintain the relationship that you have with the workers, but it also helps to uh invite a level of deeper relationship, right? And even a little bit of trust. And so um kudos to you for saying, you know, I'm I'm I'm gonna approach this in a lighthearted way. Yet they're gonna get the their notice that bros, y'all are leaving the door open. The AC is just it ain't free.

Coach Wayne:

That's right, that's right.

Coach Stacy:

Well, we would say that um, you know, this is not Wayne and I not only do we pray before our episodes, but we want to make sure that we are adding value to you, our listener, and not pulling information from out of nowhere, right? And even scripture talks about unless you become as little children, which is really an invitation to just be curious, to not bring the weight of everything on your shoulders, but to relinquish that weight, to bring delight, to bring that real interest and like, ooh, what can happen? Remember, like when you were a kid and it was like, huh, what's gonna happen next? And so that curiosity really does uh breed a level of excitement.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah. When we go back to childhood days, some of us got to go a little bit deeper than others, Stacy. But when we go back there and we look at our recollection of memories, just imagine some of the moments that made you laugh, that made you feel good, that gave you joy. Excuse me. And one of the training, the the techniques that we use coming from neurolinguistic programming, Stacey, is what we call anchoring. Uh and it's really helping people to find a desired state and anchor it, which means create some sort of uh uh trigger so that if you're in a bad mood, let's say you remember getting ice cream with your father on a Sunday, and that was a beautiful feeling. You close your eyes, you experience it. You might want to anchor it by replaying the ice cream truck song and replaying your dad holding your hand, and you create for yourself an image and even a special sound or word. And every time you're in a mood, Stacy, you can recall that particular moment of joy by replaying the sound and the special uh word that you selected, and that's anchoring that state. Yeah, and we have so many wonderful states that we can anchor if we think about our past.

Coach Stacy:

Yes, I that that was so good. And you know, one coaching like question we can ask is when was the last time you felt that spontaneous joy, right? And and what were you doing? So as you reconnected with holding that hand with the sound of the ice cream truck, right? It is what were the other feelings that were emoted, and how do we get to recreate that? Um, I I love you pulling in that that fond memory um with the feeling, the embodiment of it, which I think is one of the things that we need to do in order to really reconnect, not just hear it, not just talk about it, but to begin to embody it. And I love the way you articulated that.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah. And to your point, Stacey, the more of the senses we can bring in, the more we can recreate that awe and that wonderment if it's a memory that we want to associate with and call on. You know, at the end of the day, you know, people remember how we make them feel, but we too can have a blessing for ourselves by creating feelings that are memorable in a positive way that we can always use to uh to spur us on. We don't have to get up always feeling like the world is dark and dreary.

Coach Stacy:

You're right. It's it's a choice, right? And we get to identify um the choice, the opportunity to make the choice and to choose um wonder, to choose that curiosity and that awe. Wayne, one of the things you and I also talked about a little bit um what is the value of childlike fearlessness, right? It's so it's not only the wonder, the imagination, the curiosity. It is also reconnecting with some of that fearlessness that you had as a child. And sometimes it was because you just didn't know better, right? And and we know so much now. And the reality is that that fearlessness can also propel us forward.

Coach Wayne:

Stacey, I lived on a hill, hillside, and I used to, as a little boy, 10 years old, nine years old, used to ride a bike, bicycle, down that hill. The bike didn't have brakes on the handle. You had to step, we call it fifth wheel back in the day. You had to step back, push back on the pedal to get it to stop. And Stacy, I'd be on top of that hill, shooting down. Cars are on the blow on the street, by the way, totally fearless. But what a rush! Now, I'm not suggesting that as we start aging, because remember, the distinction is we're saging, we're wiser, that we take those crazy risks. But I am suggesting that you find something that's exhilarating in in the work you do, in the stuff that we do for fun and truly get a rush.

Coach Stacy:

Yes, yes, yes. The reality, I I too lived on a hill, uh, and it was fun to learn to skateboard going down the hill with no knowledge of how to even get myself to really turn or go in the right direction. But it was exhilarating. And at the end, you know, yeah, maybe you skinned your knee a little bit, but you also learned and you got back on and you tried it again with that additional level of knowledge. And so often we forget that in this season of life, we've amassed so much knowledge, so much smarts, yet we forget how to use that or forget to use that to take a risk, right? We watch people do uh what do you call that when you go tree to tree on the line, the zip line, right? I'm so excited to try that because to your point, it is that opportunity to feel an exhilaration and a level of fear that excites you. That's that's just exciting. I got excited just thinking about it. Right.

Coach Wayne:

And we talked about fear being that that stuck in a rut sort of thing. If you stay away from the things that you actually fear, it means that you're in a comfort zone. And a comfort zone really resembles a rut oftentimes. You're just there. Status quo style. If you want to get out of that and start exploring new ideas, new concepts, new experiences, you gotta you gotta be a little ruffled. You gotta get out of the comfort and and risk a little something and excite yourself, take a chance at something. And that's where the learning and the growing really occurs.

Coach Stacy:

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Do you sense, Wayne, that um there are times that maybe men struggle to play, uh struggle with that curiosity? I I will say that I know um many women do because of the daily weight that we're carrying. And we have to be reminded that it doesn't have to make a difference at the end, right? It is being in the moment and having that fun, that curiosity, that joy, that fearlessness. It doesn't have to mean that, you know, okay, and then I'm gonna make $500 because I had that fun, that curiosity. It's just because you can.

Coach Wayne:

Yes. Stacey, you're talking to experiential uh I guess participation, doing something just because it's the process. Whereas a lot of men, we look at outcomes. So we are about getting goals and winning and competing. And as such, again, we get so serious that we forget to enjoy the experience, enjoy the journey to your point. And and I mean, women seem to be able to do that thing, right? Women can get together and have an experience without trying to have a win over the other. But when we get together, you know, we're figuring out the shortcut, the best way to to side, wipe the other guy to win. You know what I mean? And we lose out on the fun, the experience.

Coach Stacy:

Well, we don't want to lose out on the fun, and I think that we get the opportunity to make it very practical. Something that anyone can do is create a wonder list, right? What are what are three, five things that spark curiosity or joy or laughter or wonder? Super simple.

Coach Wayne:

Let go of that outdated yesteryear self-concept. Start reframing and redefining yourself, redefining yourself as of now in a way that sparks.

Coach Stacy:

Yes, yes, yes. I think that when we uh air the episode around the self-confidence, the self-concept assessment, um, we'll be further arming our listener with more and more tools in the tool belt to really live this season of life, as you said, saging. And we're talking today about living it with curiosity and wonder and joy and childlike fearlessness. I'm loving it. I'm loving it.

Coach Wayne:

I uh listen, go back to some of the things that you used to do, that you could do, that you love to do, and you think, oh, I'm too grown now. Go back, take a look at those things when you look at your your checklist, and you might want to invite them back into your life, some of them anyway, right? I know your bones take a little longer to mend, so you might not want to do the skateboard down the hill stuff, like Stacey said. But there are things in your life you had fun doing, exploring, being curious about. Go back and look at some of those.

Coach Stacy:

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's the and there are many. And even if you know it wasn't the greatest childhood or the greatest young adulthood, there were things and there are things that we can all connect with that will generate and remind us that, oh, yes, I I can experience deep laughter. I can begin to think about, I wonder what would happen if it's super simple. Um, and it's something that we can do in the car or sitting at our desk on a break while we have a cup of tea. Uh, the reality is that there's always moments. Let's um share with our listener maybe some some opportunities, a six-step review that they can begin to walk through so that we're being even more practical.

Coach Wayne:

How about taking stock of your strengths and your passions?

Coach Stacy:

The passions. The passions, I love it. You can ask a trusted friend, what lights you up, right? Sometimes someone's looking at you or experiencing you, and they can see it when you talk about something or when you're doing something specific. They can see, like, oh, this is really, really her jam. Um, ask a friend, what lights you up?

Coach Wayne:

And I mentioned this just a while ago. Reflect on what you think you've outgrown.

Coach Stacy:

I'm too old for that now. Right, right, right, right, right. Unless it's foolishness. I'm definitely too old for the foolishness now, but you're absolutely right when it comes to the curiosity and joy. Reclaim what still feels alive. I like that.

Coach Wayne:

Reclaim what still feels alive, let go of labels that limit you. You have a belief system about who you are or something with a label that really doesn't work. Let it go.

Coach Stacy:

Let it go, let it go, and imagine. Begin to really imagine, take the limits off of the thinking and imagine your next five years through a lens of curiosity, of wonder.

Coach Wayne:

You know, Stace, uh, before we go, I wanted to say this to the fellas, especially. You know, you're in a relationship and it has sort of gotten flat. We talked about flat. And oftentimes, listening to couples that I work with, all that is absent is that curiosity, that playfulness that you did or had when you were courting your wife or your significant other. We take for granted sometimes the fact that now we're solid in a relationship, and the very thing that got the person attracted to you or to us, we forsake it, we let it go. So I'm inviting the fellas to find that playfulness, that curiosity when you go on your next date night with your significant other.

Coach Stacy:

I I believe that that is um applicable across gender. Um, that you know, we all can easily fall into a bit of a rut, as you talked about earlier, or find that we're experiencing ourselves a bit of a flat line and bringing that into our relationships. And so um I think that that was a great reminder for our listener, um, regardless of gender, uh, that really don't take stuff for granted. Uh, recognize when you're at your own flat line and reset uh from a sense of awe and wonder and playfulness.

Coach Wayne:

Um don't put the inner child to sleep, awaken the inner child. Inner child is seeking your permission and your help to come out and play.

Coach Stacy:

That's good. Don't put, don't put that one to bed. Right, Steve. We spent a lot of time putting the children to bed, but don't put that one to bed. If you stopped worrying about looking foolish, what would you try to explore this month? That's that's a good question. I think Wayne and I are gonna be pondering on that, and we encourage you to do the same. If you stopped worrying about looking foolish, what would you try or explore this month?

Coach Wayne:

Wonder all it fuels creativity, joy. And we talked about longevity.

Coach Stacy:

Yeah, yeah, longevity. Absolutely longevity. All right, sir. So let's give our our listener a couple of takeaways and make sure that we are providing any resources that we have so that we are not only encouraging, but we are equipping our listener to live with this curiosity, this awe, this wonder, this playfulness, this childlike fearlessness that we've talked about.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah. One of the things I would recommend is uh write a letter to your younger self. And in that letter, just um rouse the imagination and the promise to honor this self moving forward.

Coach Stacy:

What I like about your letter idea is that you can also include in the letter what did you enjoy? What were you enjoying if you take yourself back to you know to 10, to 12, to even 15 before you started really misbehaving? What were you enjoying? And write that down, and so that you can even begin to experience that um that joy again.

Coach Wayne:

And it doesn't matter if you're a professional in the C-suite, or you're just getting started in your launch as a midlife person, uh, starting as an entrepreneur, there's room for you to get curious, to move with awe and and wonderment. And so we're inviting everyone to let go, shake off those old labels that hold you back and just go for it.

Coach Stacy:

Yes, I love it. We talked about a wonder list. You can create a wonder list very easily, writing five things that spark that curiosity or play. Um, we didn't talk about identifying your play personality, um, but that really is connecting with that part of you that that enjoys play and figuring out or or connecting the dots and saying, Oh, I enjoy play when I'm being creative, or I enjoy. Enjoy play when I'm taking a physical risk to really connect with your play personality so that you can begin to engage it more often.

Coach Wayne:

So here's a secret I'm going to release, Stacey, so that women know. Men who act like they're tough, they still have a lot of play, that inner child, that inner boy. But you know how we encode it? We call it sports and competition.

Coach Stacy:

Nothing, nothing like a little inside scoop for the sisters. Nothing like a little inside scoop. We encourage you to plan a play date with yourself, with a friend, with your partner. This is so simple, and it will begin to open the door to that new part, to that reinvigorated part of you that enjoys play. Remember when I went knife throwing? I had a blast. I had a blast. And I didn't do that as a child. But certainly it was me taking myself on a play date to say, like, okay, what what what can I do that'll be different and maybe fun? And so that's just an example.

Coach Wayne:

Pretty cool. I don't want to know how that ended for the people of uh standing around you, Stacy.

Coach Stacy:

It's a big wood block that you're throwing, you're throwing at. And those people know how to stay far, far away.

Coach Wayne:

Stace, I would say that this is an opportunity for folks who are trying to rediscover that youthful vigor, that play self, that playfulness, that they could connect with a coach such as yourself. How might one find you, Stacy, and connect?

Coach Stacy:

I can certainly uh be reached at thestacymlewis.com. And if you are listening to this in your favorite podcast player, our contact information is at the bottom of the show notes. And certainly you can reach me on social media if that is how you are viewing this episode. Coach Wayne, how can the people reach you?

Coach Wayne:

So easy to get to, Stacey. Uh, they can get to my website, it's VIP Transformative Living.com, and there I have all my social media channels listed. Just get up in there and DM me.

Coach Stacy:

Absolutely. DM Coach Wayne. When we reclaim our wonder, we reclaim possibility. This is the time. This is the time. Go ahead, laugh out loud, dance, explore, dream, do something new. Hit that uh that I clearly I'm excited about doing it. I just can't remember what it's called every time. Zip lining. Zip lining. That's that's a zip lining. That's all that's on my list, Wayne. That's on my list of wonder, enthusiasm, excitement, and a little or your wonder is waiting.

Coach Wayne:

I'll have videotaping Stacey's zipline into my list since I'm not ziplining. But we'll make it happen.

Coach Stacy:

Stace, we're uh we're getting ready to get out of here. Any last words? My last words are your wonder is waiting. Keep going. Okay. Until next time, I'll see you at the top. I'm cheering you on. Thanks for tuning in to Midlife Revolution Unleashed. We're grateful you're part of this journey.

Coach Wayne:

If you love this episode, share it, subscribe, and hit that notification bell so you don't miss another episode.

Coach Stacy:

I'm Coach Stacy, and I'm cheering you on.

Coach Wayne:

And I'm Coach Wayne, and I'll see you at the top.

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