Midlife Revolution Unleashed

You don’t need to be fearless; you need to move

• Stacy M. Lewis & Wayne Dawson • Season 3 • Episode 64

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Ever stood on the edge of a choice so long that the fear got louder than your faith? We go straight at that moment—where hesitation lives—and make a case for granting yourself permission to act before you feel fully ready. Readiness so often comes after the first step, not before it, and we unpack how to move even when your nerves are talking loud.

Together we explore why self-doubt feeds on delay, how action shrinks fear through momentum, and what it means to align with today’s truth instead of yesterday’s story. We share coaching insights, lived moments, and a vivid faith metaphor to show how trust in motion works in real life. You’ll hear how updating your self-concept—dropping labels like “too old,” “too late,” or “not creative”—opens doors you’ve been staring at for years. We also talk about comparison as a subtle permission-thief and offer a simple way to build a bias toward action with tiny, repeatable steps.

By the end, you’ll have two concrete practices: a self-concept check to name who you are now and the Leap First Challenge to take one meaningful action in the next 24 hours. Whether you’re considering a new role, launching a business, reimagining relationships, or returning to a passion, this conversation gives you the mindset and the moves to get unstuck. Midlife isn’t a deadline—it’s a launch window. Say yes to the next step and let momentum teach you what’s next.

If this resonated, tap follow, share it with someone who’s waiting on perfect conditions, and leave a quick review so more midlifers find their leap. Your step today might be the spark someone else needs tomorrow.

Subscribe @CoachStacyMLewis and @CoachWayneVIP

💃🏽Stacy M. Lewis
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🎩Wayne Dawson
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Wayne:

Have you ever sat on the edge of a decision so long that fear got louder than your faith? In midlife, hesitation can become our default. But what if the very act of leaping first is what shrinks the fear? Today we're talking about granting yourself permission to act before you are fully ready. You found the midlife revolution unleashed the space to embrace your wisdom, reignite your passions, and move boldly into what's next. I am Coach Wayne, the VIP coach.

Stacy:

And I'm Coach Stacy M. Lewis. We're here with insights, stories, and strategies to fuel your midlife journey. So take a breath, lean in. Your revolution starts now. Good day! In this episode of Midlife Revolution Unleashed, we'll explore how to overcome that self-doubt. Stop waiting for perfect timing and start granting yourself permission to move forward. Whether that's in your career, your business, your relationships, or your personal growth. Welcome to Midlife Revolution Unleashed. I am your co-host, Stacey M. Lewis. I'm a nonprofit executive, a midlife women's coach, and a lover of God and his people. And I'm joined by the one and only VIP transformative coach, Coach Wayne. Woo woo! We need some sound effects. Woo!

Wayne:

Yes, sir. Thank you, Stacy. I'm your man, the one and only, the VIP coach, Coach Wayne. I help men in midlife move through so that their second half can be their best half. Stacy, ready for quite a stimulation in terms of a conversation where we can pump some energy into our folks?

Stacy:

Absolutely, and really remind ourselves of the gift of our own permission, right? And our opportunities to overcome self-doubt and to move forward. So we're gonna talk about redefining readiness, why confidence comes after the leap. What say you, Sir Wayne?

Wayne:

What leap, Stacey? You know, I heard often as a kid about caution, and you may have heard it too. And the thing that we probably heard was look before you leap. And sometimes we take that, of course, you know, there is warning for all of us to be cautious before we take action. But if you take that very literally, sometimes it on it's the undoing of you in terms of getting ahead. Would you agree, Stacy?

Stacy:

You're absolutely right. Uh, I think that's one of the uh concepts sometimes that really impacts our self-concept, right? Yes, you are to look before you leap, right? We're not uh really suggesting just taking high risks without no consideration. Um, but how long will you look? Will you look to ascertain the immediate information that you need before you take the leap? Or will you look to gather the immediate information, gather the long-term information, look down next week's road, look back two weeks later or earlier, and then find yourself saying, I'm still in the same place.

Wayne:

Yeah. Stacy, I was taught by a wonderful gentleman who is very successful by all measures that success likes decision. And this decision to act is very important. Very often, we waste a lot of energy and time by deliberating and procrastination. How is that, you may ask? I'm happy to tell you. When we sit around and we're weighing the facts, as it were, we're gathering more information, we're going out and getting more, and we're comparing and we're continuing to do this. That's tiring. And that's a lot of time spent when, in fact, most of us have the information we need to just make a wise or informed decision.

Stacy:

I love that adage, and I will add that self-doubt feeds on hesitation, right? So the longer we wait or hesitate or procrastinate, as you said, um, the more we doubt the action, the next step that we were planning to take. And so that waiting, in that waiting, uh, we not only develop that self-doubt, but it also takes a lot of energy to wait and deliberate and procrastinate. All of that requires energy, and that's energy that we could be leaping with.

Wayne:

And here's a question that as midlifers, we're often uh encountering and dealing with. And it's this question that we ask ourselves Am I too late? Am I too late? You know, is there is it worth doing it because I'm at midlife? And that self-doubt, when we look at our self-concept as a midlifer, is one of the things that we gotta get out of the way so that we can take a chance and take the leap.

Stacy:

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I agree with you that. This is the time.

Wayne:

Yeah. And so I would leave folk with this this one thing as an affirmation. Let us start saying, I am not the person of yesteryear, I am the person of the becoming. So who you are now and who you're growing into is what you ought to use to determine your ability to make a difference, move forward, take the leap.

Stacy:

I agree. And the I'm not the person of yesteryear also can be coupled with, and that's a good thing, right? Because you've learned so much, you've grown so much, you've gleaned so much uh in during your yesteryear days, right? That now you really are more ready than you ever were. Let's let's take a little pause and say hello to Delaine. It is always so good to see you. We're both doing well, and we pray you are too.

Wayne:

Hey, hey Delane, we are doing mighty fine.

Stacy:

You know, Wayne, one of the things we can talk about is the fact that action shrinks fear. Yeah. That when we leap, when we move toward the goal, toward the aspiration, it will begin to conquer, to shrink the fear.

Wayne:

Yeah, there's something about the law of momentum, Stacy. You know, you build as you get moving. But if you're not moving, you're actually uh there's really in in truth, you're never totally just the status quo is never that you're you're dead stop, you're either growing or declining. And so, in terms of moving past that freeze potion part of fear, you have to start getting some action, building momentum, and you find that as you build momentum, the familiarity takes you from that place of fear and discomfort into a more familiar place where you now can feel more comfortable.

Stacy:

I couldn't agree with you more. Courage and confidence have in common that they are attributes that we all have, we just have to exercise them. And it is in that courage, right, that that we will continue to move forward, but it is taking that step that makes us even more courageous.

Wayne:

And so this concept about aligning yourself with today's truth versus yesterday's story. We all have stories, right? We tell ourselves these stories. Most of the time, the story that we tell ourselves uh is outdated, we have outgrown it, and it's not speaking to our current truth. And so we're living in the past and not aligning with our today's truth.

Stacy:

Yes, yes, yes. This is this is the time to align with truth, today's truth, right? To be strong and courageous, as the word says, and to really think about um where that one area that you've been hesitating in or uh not moving forward in, uh, where that waiting has only increased your doubt. Oftimes, you know, Wayne, I'm sure this happens with you and clients, is that you know, you can see that the waiting, that the experience of the hesitation, the procrastination, the consternation, where all of that is culminating in more doubt, in even less confidence, in slower momentum because of all of that inaction and and its impact.

Wayne:

Yeah. Sometimes, Stacy, you talked about uh action shrinking fear. Sometimes we it can be something as simple as purchasing the right outfit, and we have to spend some money. We are fearful of that money leaving us and we make the wrong purchase. And so, what we do is we go shopping and we go over and over to the same place, we walk through the aisle, we look at it, or we go somewhere else and we come back, and there is this trepidation about spending for the fare that we're gonna have buyers' remorse. And that's a simple, simple uh uh example, but it's real as far as when we take the action and we just make the purchase, either we are gonna return it or not, but at least a decision has made, and so we can settle with the idea that we're moving forward on a thing.

Stacy:

Yes, yes, now you made me want to go shopping. I'm just saying, I'm just saying, this is a real a real um prompt encouragement for you, our listener, to begin to review and to update your self-concept, how you see yourself, how you're thinking about yourself, and how as you envision yourself in new settings or taking those steps, how your self-concept may be holding you back. What do you say, Lane?

Wayne:

And I mentioned a little bit earlier the idea of aligning with your today's truth, right, versus your past stories. This is where you take a full accountability and assessment of your strengths, where you are now, and not be afraid to talk about the opportunity of becoming even better, bigger, bolder, because you're in the act of becoming. For folk who, if you're listening in and you have just held back because you have not been able to, as we say, pull the trigger and make a bold decision because you're thinking in the past, I have failed at this or I wasn't good enough. Let us put that aside and look at where we are now, and better yet, where we want to launch to and use that as a way of incentivizing yourself to take action.

Stacy:

Yes, yes, yes, that really is shining a new light on that self-concept. I was listening this morning, I believe it was, to uh uh an intro or a preview of an interview with Lionel Ritchie, and you know, longtime musician, many accolades and awards and everything. And he talked about the impact of being shy his entire life, in particular as a child, but how that self-concept, right? How that experience, while we didn't see that on the stage or hear that in the records, but how that, yes, I said records, but how that experience um was basically a label for him. And sometime our outdated self-concepts, right? I'm not very creative, or you mentioned I'm too old. Um, those self-concepts can really become very confining. And that was what he demonstrated and talked a lot about, you know, those the confines of being shy and really having to work through um relabeling, so to speak, uh his himself, or you know, changing out removing his outdated labels for new labels.

Wayne:

Yeah, I forget where I heard it. Thank you, Stacy. That uh Lionel Ritchie, uh, wow, he's still out there doing him, right? It's beautiful. Yes. Always reinventing. Actually, I've seen him on uh uh The Voice, and he looks like Lionel Ritchie of yesteryear. Right. So you know, to your point, you know, it's it's important that we we act in a way that keeps us fresh by our self-concept, not being held back with the idea of um I can't go to college now because I'm too old for that. You know, it may it may be uh awkward to feel that you're in a classroom where you could be everybody's grand, but you just need to get past that and keep the your mind on the prize and recognize that in the now you're able to be who and do whatever you will.

Stacy:

Yes, I I agree. I think one way um to really think about or to explore your self-concept, kind of what you're really thinking about yourself or how you've labeled yourself is to write a short letter to your younger self, acknowledging your growth. Oftentimes we don't celebrate our successes, we don't acknowledge our own accomplishments. Um, and so sometimes writing it down and you know, letting your younger self know that I I'm not that shy girl anymore. I, you know, I'm not someone with low self-esteem anymore, or I'm not hesitating to pursue my dreams anymore. This is how I'm moving forward now to remind yourself of who you are now.

Wayne:

Absolutely, absolutely, and you can do that also.

Stacy:

Hello to Dia. We want to say hello to Dia. I just want to make sure we say hello. You know, we try to do a good job, Wayne.

Wayne:

Yeah, yeah. I'm not looking on my thank you. I'm not looking on my LinkedIn, so I'm not sure uh who we have joining us on LinkedIn, but hello to anyone and everyone that's out there tuning in this afternoon. We absolutely, absolutely. One of the other things that I think we could share is if when we talk about taking action, leaping, so we can get to the next side and get it done, is giving ourselves permission to be first. Yes, and and you know, it's funny. If I can share a quick personal story, uh few years ago, uh one of my young ones uh had a graduation, I think it may have been Jared, and we were in Virginia, and so they set up this family thing that we were all gonna do rather than the usual dinner. We had the dinners, but something exciting. So, me be the leader of the clan, uh they said, Let's go I fly. You know what I fly is, Stacy?

Stacy:

Is that where you are in some kind of building and you basically end up be flying, kind of being blown up by air? Is that right?

Wayne:

Yeah, yeah, it's this chamber with this uh this simulated air, so that it's like jumping out of a plane at what is it, 20,000 or 10,000? I forget. Okay, okay, okay. It's about it's about 160 uh knots or or whatever they miles per hour, whatever they measured in, but it's a lot, it's air that when you step into the chamber, right? It's anti-gravity. So as you step in, you're ready to take off, and so they put you on, and all the gear, and you know, the the visor, and so when we were being going through the demonstration, the all the kids and everybody else, the blended family were around, and I was like, Yeah, I'm the captain, and then I'm looking at everybody else, and I'm saying to myself, dang, couldn't you? I'm nervous, just like everybody. Yeah, I don't want to show it. I gotta, so I'm like, all right, giving them the chance, let's go. So we jumped online, and I was like, I'll go first. But Jared, my son, he had already been there. So when he said that, I'll just step up and make it happen first. I was just too happy. So I was like number three on the list, but I I performed and made it happen. And point I'm making is I could have sat back for a while and made sure it was safe and watched other people go and just you know kept letting people skip the line and all that, but I stepped up. And once I did it the first time, I wound up doing it more than everybody else. I kept going back and back, couldn't stop me, man.

Stacy:

Yeah, that's a one is that's hilarious. Thank you for sharing that with the level of vulnerability. We greatly appreciate that. Um, what I think is so interesting about reminding ourselves of giving ourselves permission to leap first, to go first, is that one of the things that I don't this has happened to me, not only clients, but to me, one of the things that has held me back was seeing what everyone else is doing, right? Seeing the way people are launching their business, seeing the way women are talking about midlife, right? Seeing everything and hindering or holding back giving myself permission to move forward because I'm either too busy seeing, therefore, aka comparing myself to the way, to the what, to the how someone else is doing something, um as opposed to just doing it, doing it my way. They're never gonna do it my way, right? Because we're all individuals. And so that giving myself permission to go first or to just go is something that I constantly practice. Stop looking at how others are doing whatever it is you want to do for permission. Look to you for permission.

Wayne:

Look to you. I love it. And so the question you would ask, instead of why, what if I fail? Say, what if I fly?

Stacy:

What if I fly? Yeah, what if I fly? I like that, Wayne. What if I fly? So, for our listener, where are you? Where in your life are you waiting for permission that only you can give? It's it's happening to all of us. And you know, it happens more than we'd like to pay attention to. So as you think about that next action that you want to take, that aspiration, that new job, that new business, whatever that aspiration or dream is, um, that promotion, right? Where in your life are you waiting for permission that only you can give?

Wayne:

Yeah. Yeah. Stop watching the crowd. Do you go Stacy? Yeah. Another point to I think we can share is the idea of building a bias toward taking action. And uh, for example, sometimes we have to just reframe, you know, the entire process by taking consistent actions. We can rewire rewire our identity. You know, I'm a person who makes decisions, I'm a person who is on the move. And so we can sort of reframe how we've seen ourselves by deliberating or being afraid to start something or failing at something, and just start taking action and saying, hey, I'm the kind of guy who makes it happen.

Stacy:

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I'm I'm I'm one who takes a step, right? I I take steps. I I'm not the step may be small, the step may, you know, have had a little concern behind it, but I take a step, and it's in the direction of my dream, of my aspiration, of my uh next goal. And so that tiny action, when turned into tiny consistent action, really does have power. And so I love this build a bias toward action. Um, because it, if we're really just focused on, okay, action, not, you know, it doesn't have to be the home, the home run. Uh still baseball season, it doesn't have to be the home run. It can, it can be the swing, it can be stepping up to the plate. So let's tiny step, medium-sized step, big step, let's have that bias toward action.

Wayne:

And say, you don't have to take fast action, taking that leap as reckless behavior, right? Right. You can see it as trust in motion.

Stacy:

That's good. Trust in motion. Yes, trusting yourself, your ability to make decisions, your ability to take action, trust in motion. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Stay on the case.

Wayne:

Yeah, some of us go ahead. Uh huh. In the green room, you were talking about the biblical reference, Peter. Want to share that?

Stacy:

Sure. I, you know, I think the thing about Peter, right, is that we are all uh reading the scripture and and none of us were there, clearly. Uh, but we always think about the fact that Peter he took action, he took a step, and he exercised his faith, right? So he stepped out on the water. And the c that's where the courage happened, right? He I'm I imagine, I don't know if you ever imagined this this biblical story, but you know, I imagine that that was where the real courage was needed, was actually taking the step out, right? Once, once he got out there, he, you know, if he was focused on Christ, he was he was doing all right. And then he looked around and he looked down and then he started to go down, you know, but he took the step. He tied it, was it is the steps are tied to our faith in who we are and what we've been given and who our creator has made us to be, and that our creator is still with us, moving forward with us, sending us in the right direction.

Wayne:

That is such a powerful metaphor, Stacy. Um, because when you think about what happened with Peter as he stepped out on the water and then brought up Mr. Doubt.

Stacy:

With Mr.

Wayne:

Doubt, you know, started going down, right? Mm-hmm. How often do we know a thing, not believe a thing, we know a thing. Oh, you know, it's a divine calling. There's an environment, there's this resonance, the vibrations, the energy tells you this is it. But we're looking around, and perhaps other people who don't know that thing, like you, and have not been called to do the thing, may not have taken action. And what do we do? We small up ourselves, right? And so we don't step out there on faith knowing that thing, and we sink.

Stacy:

Yes, yes, yes. We small up ourselves. I love it when you say that, because that is the truth, and we're talking about taking building, really, building a bias toward action. And in the building, we know that it might not necessarily be your immediate nature, it may not be innate for you. That's why you build the bias toward action, and you have to remind yourself that each step I take is a declaration of trust in my future.

Wayne:

Stacey, what about before we go? Just closing up with some reflections and some uh highlights, as it were, recapping. I would say, remember that action shrinks fear. What else we got for them, Stacy?

Stacy:

Yes, indeed. I think that one is truly uh worth repeating. Action shrinks fear. We also have that it's a good time to update yourself concept because updating self-concept begins to clear the way for you to give yourself permission.

Wayne:

And I third one, we're gonna just give you three to hold on to. Number three is give yourself permission.

Stacy:

Get out of your own way, get out of your own way. Yeah, you know, Wayne and I are here as coaches, we are encouraging you um to make a note of what leap might be waiting for you right now. And Wayne, I think that you would agree with me as I say this. Um, but if you are a brother out there and you're ready to stop circling around the idea about moving forward, I believe that Wayne would like to talk to you. He's there for you. Love to connect. What is that, Wayne?

Wayne:

Absolutely. Give your bro a ding ding, right? Just just get up in the DM and let me know that you'd like to connect and we'll make it happen. Listen, no charge to just having that discovery call. 30 minutes, and it could change your entire life.

Stacy:

Yeah, yeah, you're absolutely right. And I will echo that uh for my midlife sisters out there, you know, this it's your time to shine. And so all of those uh mental roadblocks and all of those myths about it being too late or us possibly being too old, we want to conquer those little giants and squash them like ants. So if you are interested in a connecting conversation, you can connect with me on the socials that you are now streaming us through, as well as uh you're welcome to visit my website at thesacymlewis.com. Sir Wayne, any takeaways or that you like to be.

Wayne:

I want to do uh send a little homework, so to speak, assignments, some to do. We sort of touched on some of the takeaways earlier. And I would say to folks, do a self-check, a self-concept check. And that is to, I mean, you can just who am I? And and and and do that in a real way, you know, look in the mirror and ask that question. If I understand that uh if you do this long enough, you start feeling an answer coming from within, not without. And so do that self-check.

Stacy:

Yeah, I I like the self-check, the self-concept check. I will uh meet or match that self-concept check, and I will add to it uh the leap first challenge, right? Uh what's one action you can take within the next 24 hours to move in the direction that you want to go? Not consternate, not procrastinate, but to move. That's what we're saying. It's your time. It is your time. You don't need to be fearless, you just need to leap. Stacey, that's a wrap today. We want to thank you for joining us at the Midlife Revolution Unleashed. It has been our joy, and we wish you the very best. I am cheering you on.

Wayne:

And I'll see you at the top.

Stacy:

Thanks for tuning in to Midlife Revolution Unleashed. We're grateful you're part of this journey.

Wayne:

If you love this episode, share it, subscribe, and hit that notification bell so you don't miss another episode.

Stacy:

I'm Coach Stacy and I'm cheering you on.

Wayne:

And I'm Coach Wayne, and I'll see you at the top.

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