Midlife Revolution Unleashed

Redefining Age: Beyond the Gray

• Stacy M. Lewis & Wayne Dawson • Season 2 • Episode 60

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What if everything you've been told about aging is wrong? What if your greatest years of productivity, purpose, and possibility are still ahead—regardless of your hair color?

Coach Michael Taylor, author of "I Am Not Okay With Gray," joins hosts Coach Wayne and Coach Stacey M. Lewis for the milestone 60th episode and Season 2 finale of Midlife Revolution Unleashed to challenge our fundamental assumptions about growing older.

"Gray is a mindset," Taylor reveals, explaining that his provocative book title has nothing to do with hair color and everything to do with rejecting limiting beliefs about aging. At 64, he feels as vibrant and purposeful as he did in his 30s and plans to live to at least 100 with unwavering optimism.

The conversation explores how scientific advancements may soon extend average lifespans to 120 years, making your 60s potentially just your midpoint! Taylor shares his remarkable journey from homelessness at 30 to becoming a prolific author and coach after asking himself one transformative question: "What if you took all the energy you've used trying to get rich and simply figured out how to be happy?"

All three coaches dive deep into the "be-do-have triangle," illuminating why happiness must come first rather than as a result of external achievements. They address how societal programming affects our experience of aging and why our most productive years often come after 50.

For women of color, Coach Stacey highlights how possibility thinking becomes crucial when data shows 60-70% living beneath their potential. For men, particularly Black men, Coach Wayne and Coach Michael discuss breaking free from the "man box" and healing emotional wounds that block authentic living.

Whether you're navigating career transitions, rediscovering purpose, or simply refusing to accept society's limited vision of aging, this episode offers revolutionary wisdom for creating an extraordinary second half of life. Subscribe now and join the midlife revolution!

Visit coachmichaeltaylor.com or shatterthestereotypes.com to connect with Coach Michael Taylor and access resources for personal transformation.

Subscribe @CoachStacyMLewis and @CoachWayneVIP

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Coach Wayne:

you've just stepped into the midlife revolution, unleashed your space to ignite possibility, redefine purpose and embrace the power that comes with age and experience, co-hosted by yours truly coach win and I'm coach stacy m lewis, are two-season coaches focused on the midlife community of color.

Coach Stacy:

This isn't just a podcast. It's a movement In a world that sometimes forgets the power and the wisdom that comes with age. We are here to ignite a revolution and rewrite the narrative of this incredible journey.

Coach Wayne:

So, whether you're navigating your career, growing your business, rediscovering passions or challenging the status quo, this is your space. So buckle up, let's dive into the Midlife Revolution Unleashed. Hey, hey, hey, we are back, and this is a momentous event for us. On Midlife Revolution Unleashed, we are at our 60th episode getting a little bit old, or gray, as you might want to say and this is our final episode for season two, so we're going to make it a blast and have you all celebrate with us tonight. My name is Coach Wayne. I work with midlife men making sure that their second half is their best half, and riding up side next to me is none other than the Coach Stacy, introduce yourself, mademoiselle, thank you so much, coach Wayne.

Coach Stacy:

Welcome everyone to the Midlife Revolution Unleashed. It is always a joy and honor and a blessing to spend this time with you all, whether you are catching us live or the replay. We are celebrating Episode 60. We are celebrating the conclusion of season two and we are celebrating the opportunity to have a special guest and continue to nurture. So. I'm Stacy M Lewis. I'm a nonprofit executive, I'm a midlife women's coach, I'm a lover of God and his people on most days and I'm so excited to be here with these two gentlemen who I know are going to be gentlemen.

Coach Wayne:

Yes, ma'am.

Coach Stacy:

Midlife Revolution Unleashed. Coach Wayne introduce our guest.

Coach Wayne:

Absolutely. What a delightful pleasure and this is a brother, a true brother, that I've met over the last. I want to say we're going into three years or so, right, Coach Michael? And this is Coach Michael Taylor, an unapologetic, optimist and passionate voice for empowering men and women over 50 to redefine aging and embrace their next chapter with purpose and passion. As the author of I Am Not Okay With Gray, this wonderful reading material here in my hand, he challenges outdated beliefs about growing older and inspires others to see aging as a time for reinvention, vitality and joy. Coach Michael Taylor, indeed, welcome my brother on this stage. How are you?

Coach Michael Taylor:

It is my absolute joy being with you guys today. Of course, wayne and I go back a minute, and he's a brother that I highly respect and love, and I'm just really excited about being on the program today.

Coach Stacy:

Thank you so much for joining us. We're just so excited. We certainly want to welcome our listenership. Hi Delane, it's always good to see you and have you supporting us.

Coach Stacy:

One of the interesting things as I was thinking about this topic not only the title of your book, but also the reality of this beautiful season of life, of getting older and being able to choose how we look at this season, whether it be with a sense of chagrin or a sense of possibility.

Coach Stacy:

And I was reminded of one time when I was going to have my hair braided, and so, for those of you that are just not aware about the hair braiding, some of it comes from my scalp, some of it came from the store, and so, as I was going to make that purchase, I was talking with my girlfriend and I said no, I want to make sure that I buy some gray so that it matches what is coming out of my head. And she was borderline appalled with why would you buy gray? Why would you want to emphasize that? And in my line of work, where people are diagnosed with a devastating disease and often lose their hair, I'm grateful for my hair and I am grateful for the grays, and I wanted to make sure that it wasn't gray down here and then super shiny black down here. So for me it was really a celebration and it was interesting to have someone that I love and know well have just a contrasting view about. You know gray hair and what it represents, and so let's dive in.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah, yeah. So you know, Stace, I am going through a transition now, and for the last I don't know how long I've had a beard, but maybe 10 years ago the beard started looking great and I wasn't having it, Stacy, I wasn't having it, and so I got a contract with Ms Claro. You know so that when people ask me, Wayne, how do you look so young, I show them my contract with Ms Clara.

Coach Stacy:

Okay. Okay, audrey, let you cheat in there a little bit then with Ms Clara, okay. We got to keep going, keep going.

Coach Wayne:

For years, you know, men and women have been dealing with the issue of looking your best self the way you interpret that to be and feeling your best self, the way you interpret that to be. And no shame in the game. You know, we, we work out, we we cut away here. We do all this stuff for that, for that, for that, for that. And it's a challenge oftentimes in our society to equate youth with vigor, success, health and that sort of thing and to almost disband and shame in our society, not in other societies. Apparently, folks as they age and I like to say that rather than aging, we are saging. But I know in Coach Michael's book, the book that we're featuring today, in the foreword by Kevin Ross, the conversation comes up about our culture of disbanding and disregarding the older generation and people getting ill and not feeling fit and having energy as they got older. And so the question was why would God do this after you've worked so long and hard and Michael you talked about? It's not a God problem, it's a paradigm problem. Bust it up.

Coach Michael Taylor:

Well, let me share how the book came about. This is an interesting story. So a friend of mine was teasing me because I color my beard and my hair and he says Michael man, why do you do that? Why do you color your hair? And I immediately said man, I'm not okay with gray Gray. And as soon as I said it, I pulled out my phone and I made a little note and I said you know, that's a really cool title for a book. It just sounded really cool. So what I normally do whenever I get an idea for a book, I'll just put it on my phone and come back to it later. Well, probably a year and a half, two years later, when I was getting ready to write my book, I pulled out my little phone and went I'm not okay with gray, it's time for that particular book. Now, when I say I'm not okay with gray, it has absolutely nothing to do with hair color.

Coach Michael Taylor:

Gray is a mindset. We live in a society, as I mentioned, that kind of demonizes getting older. But in reality it's the belief systems of our culture that you know. We hear that as I get older, I'm going to, you know, lose mobility. I'm going to, you know, it's going to take me longer to heal. I'm going to slow down. You know I can't do the things that I, and I completely disagree with that. Now, for me, I have made the decision that I am not going to wear gray until I turn 75 years old. For me, 75 to me, symbolizes gray hair. Now I'm 64. I honestly feel like I'm still in my 30s, with the exception of my knees needs, but for the most part, at 64, I'm as happy and excited and energetic as I was when I was in my 30s. So for me, the gray simply represents or the not keeping the gray simply represents the youth that I feel. I don't feel gray.

Coach Michael Taylor:

So, once again, the intention of this book was to simply give people a different way to view aging Because, unfortunately, too many times when we hear getting older, we get scared. We go oh my gosh, I've got less years ahead than I have behind me. But what people don't realize is that they're predicting in the next 20 to 30 years, the average lifespan is going to be 120 years old. Now, think about that. 120 years old Now most people. I always say that I have an intention and that intention is to live to be at least 100 years old. That's my goal. I want to get to three digits. I want to say I'm a hundred years old. That's just something I want to do. But the point is, you can't get there if you don't have the right mindset. And that's what this conversation is about. It's about setting the mindset to prepare you, to set intentions, to grow old with grace.

Coach Stacy:

I love it. So cheers to Kenneth Dunner, who says my knees are perky peeps, who also shared that he just turned 67. Thank you, and is looking good with the gray. And I love what you just shared, Michael, because that, indeed, is the reality.

Coach Stacy:

It's a mindset, it is a mindset, and so for me, it was about embracing the who I am, as I am right now, and I'll be honest and say that the gentleman that was doing my hair at that time was very clear. He was like A, you don't want to start coloring your hair because then you'll feel like you can never stop. And two, he was like it's not good for your hair, so don't do it. Right. So I was like okay, so now I really have a great opportunity not to do it. But what you said was just so very true, because it is a mindset. And as we embrace the mindset that getting older is the goal, right, that is the goal. Like you said, your goal is now the three digits. Getting older is the goal, but it's how we get there, both in our mind and our body. That is what we're talking about, right, what we think about getting older and how we then behave based on our thoughts about getting older.

Coach Michael Taylor:

Absolutely. And again we hear that as we get older, they'll say well, you know, my body's going to start breaking down and everything is going to start. My body's going to atrophy and my mind's going to not be as sharp. It's not aging that's doing that. It's the fact that you're no longer paying attention to the things that you want to do and you've accepted what the media says your body's going to do. And the mindset is I expect decline. I'm saying don't expect decline. Set intentions, become committed to making sure that you are doing whatever you can to move ahead. Now again, coloring my hair actually has nothing to do with vanity. I'm not trying to look more handsome, it's just, once again, for me, it's how I feel. I feel in every fiber of my being. Again, I'm still in my thirties and so that just the idea, the visual of the gray, it's incongruent with how I feel. So I want to keep that congruency and keep this excitement and passion and so forth, all the feeling that I have. And again, I do that by coloring the gray.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah, michael, in the book you talked about the midlife crisis, and here is a tag that we have given to a normal period in our lives and you know we talked also about at 40. When you think about it, some people call it getting older and we are aging getting older, but it's not old age when you think that it's technically halfway there, meaning you have another potential 40 years ahead of you. So you're really at midlife and I think that this is an opportunity to have leverage, since you have 40 years of experience, 40 years of knowledge, so now you can put that together and have 40 years of wisdom moving forward. You talked about midlife crisis and getting through that and you talked about the roller coaster. Tell us a little bit more about that, michael, and, in particular, tell a little bit about your story that you reinvented yourself, going through that very roller coaster, so that those folks listening to us can have some stuff to take away and be hopeful.

Coach Michael Taylor:

So. So, at the age of 23, I was living the American dream. I had the house, the wife, the 2.5 kids, the vacation, the 401k and, by society standards, I was pretty successful at 23. And by society standards, I was pretty successful at 23. Within about a six and a half year time frame, my American dream turned into the American nightmare, as I went through a divorce, bankruptcy, foreclosure, a deep, deep state of depression. I was actually homeless for two years, living out of my car. Now I'm 30 years old or so and I've basically lost everything.

Coach Michael Taylor:

And so, as I was sitting there trying to figure out what the heck had happened, I received a miracle. I was sitting up late one night because I was too depressed to sleep, and I was sitting at the edge of my bed looking across the room at my bookshelf, when I happened to notice that every book on my bookshelf had something to do with getting rich or making money. And as I looked at those books, this question just popped in my head Michael, what if you took all the energy and effort you've used in trying to get rich and simply figure out how to be happy? And as simplistic as that question may sound, it literally changed and saved my life in an instant. I can't explain it, but all of a sudden my depression lifted and I had this amazing clarity that I was going to be able to rebuild my life, and it was going to become extraordinary. And I had absolutely no evidence to support that. A part of me intuitively knew that I was going to be able to rebuild my life. Now, as a result of asking that question, I stopped reading books on getting rich and making money. I started reading books on psychology and philosophy and metaphysics and personal development, and I began what I'll call my journey of transformation. And that journey of transformation is an inside job. One of my favorite quotes is "'If you don't go within, you always go without'".

Coach Michael Taylor:

And so I began that inner journey of transformation, and it began with me being courageous enough, first of all, to go to therapy and to start addressing some of the emotional baggage that I was carrying, that I was not even aware of. That was one of the first things I did. But then again, I started doing all these workshops and seminars and listening to audio programs, and, interestingly enough, as I was doing this, as I was going to these workshops and seminars, I noticed that in most cases, I was the only man of color in the room, and so a couple of times I had to question myself. I said wait, should I be here? You know where the brothers at. You know where the brothers at.

Coach Michael Taylor:

But then what I realized was I was healing, I was growing, I was changing, didn't matter what the people around me looked like, because of my commitment to my own growth. And so, as a result of going on that journey, commitment to my own growth and so, as a result of going on that journey and again, it's a journey that I'm still on today, some 30 years later, but as a result of going on that journey, I created the life that, intuitively, I've always known was possible living a life of possibilities, of passion and purpose. And so it is my absolute joy sharing the lessons that I learned along the way, and that's why I write books.

Coach Wayne:

Powerful, Stacy we had discussed, and to Michael's point, that there's some things that from time to time hold us back from, as people say, aging gracefully, from, as people say, aging gracefully, but from breaking through and moving to the next level, perhaps their best level, after midlife. What are some of the things, Stacy, that your experience personally and with the people that you are coaching, the women that gets in the way of moving through that barrier.

Coach Stacy:

What's in the way of moving through that barrier. There are a number of things, yet listening to Michael and thank you so much, michael, for sharing your story, your experience, and where you gleaned your wisdom from and saw the possibility Because I think possibility is one of the areas that at least a number, if not all, of the midlife women of color that I've coached struggle with. There's data that talks about how anywhere from 60 to 70% of women are living beneath their possibility, and for women of color it's even more so, and so that mindset around possibility is critical. I think the other thing I would add is, as we talk about aging and gray gray hair although that's not the focus of the book one thing that women often have to deal with, in particular, women in the workplace, women in leadership is the perception of others on their capacity, their possibilities, on their capacity, their possibilities.

Coach Stacy:

And, as I talk to and coach, I've coached a few women to stop dying their hair, not because I'm offended or I feel like you shouldn't die, but because they really didn't want to dye their hair, but they were doing so based on the experience they were having with other people's perceptions of who they were and what their capacities are as they age, and so the gray hair was giving others the cue that they were getting older and therefore they were doing. They were making this move that they didn't want to make because of the perceptions and the experience with others and how there was the mindset of the possibility, not that I'll succeed anyhow, but the possibility that it will hold me back, that others seeing me as getting older, maybe you know, will hold me back, and so I think I expanded the question a little bit, but that would be my answer. What about you, wayne?

Coach Wayne:

Well, you know, you're talking about what we call a limiting belief or beliefs, the fact that we put these excuses, these barriers, and oftentimes we project it on somebody else. The society says, the people around us say, oh, family, the expectations, the job, and part of it, I think, is about asking, is about asking, michael. In your book you talk about it, about the ability to continue your evolution by asking one simple question. The question was how can I become better? My tagline is bigger, better, bolder, you know, and so I think a lot of what those listening should be challenged with is to start reframing getting older by asking more powerful questions. What advantages do I have having been on the planet for decades? What advantages do I have in terms of leverages? How can I be bigger, better, bolder? How can I stop smalling up myself and playing into the game of somebody else's expectations or lack thereof for me and start truly fulfilling and breaking through? Michael, thank you for the question.

Coach Michael Taylor:

I think it comes back to my point at the beginning, which is the mindset Most people I'm going to assert. If you ask them if they want to live to be 100, they would probably say no, and the reason they would say that is because they're afraid that they're going to be incapacitated. Maybe I'm going to be in a wheelchair or I'm on drugs or whatever. So the fear of growing older keeps people from investing in becoming older, and so the point of coaching is to provide insights. And, wayne, you just mentioned a powerful word, which is beliefs. A coach's job is to help you change your beliefs about what's possible. And so, for most people again, they think that, ok, once I get to 60, 75, we have this thing called retirement and I'm just going to wait for retirement. 75, we have this thing called retirement and I'm just going to wait for retirement. But have you ever seen the statistics of what happened to people after they retire? It's not a pretty picture. It's not a pretty picture. So what I promote is this whole idea about, once again, possibilities and us setting intentions to be, to do, to have anything we set our minds to. And so, from a age perspective, as mentioned, if you look at over the last hundred years, how lifespan has continued to increase. It's only going to continue.

Coach Michael Taylor:

If you look at what's going on, a lot of people are terrified of AI. Ai is now creating things that's going to help people expand, extend their lives. As mentioned, they're predicting that within the next 30 years, 120 is going to be average. You'll be able to live to 120. And think about that. If I'm going to live to be 120, I'm only halfway through right now. I'm just getting warmed up. So I'm like, wow, man, think about it. So, once again, the mindset for me is think in terms of what's possible, not what the media has said is possible, but what you set an intention to achieve.

Coach Stacy:

I love what Delane just said because it is right, in alignment with what Coach Michael just said. Right, that that's retirement from life, not retirement from a job. Right, if you have that mindset that's saying like I'm going to retire and then I'll just kind of sit back and let life pass me by. Or I'm going to retire and my knees are going to hurt and I'm going to be on all kinds of medications and I won't be able to travel the way I designed. All of that is going to be true. And so what clients are telling themselves is critical the story, the record. I'm 62.

Coach Stacy:

I always use the analogy and the imagery of an LP. Right, we know that you put that record on the record player and jamming to your songs, and if the record has a scratch in it, you hear that flaw over and over and over again. And our mindsets are like that. And so if the narrative, the story that you're telling yourself is getting older is where my possibilities dwindle, or getting older is where life is on the decline, unfortunately that will be true. And so I love what you're bringing out in your book and in your energy, as I think it was. Kenneth said, you're looking like 45.

Coach Michael Taylor:

I had to say that I'm sorry. I had to throw that out there.

Coach Stacy:

We agree. As coaches, the goal is really bringing out the wealth of wisdom and knowledge and reigniting that possibility that I believe is really within everyone. It is about what we're focused on. Are we focused on the fact that we're getting older and our hair is going to be gray and it means, you know, we're going to retire and life is kind of going to be over? Or are we saying I'm getting older and yes, I'm going to retire, and yes, I'm taking care of my knees and my weight and all of that now so that when I'm 82, watch out, world watch out?

Coach Wayne:

You know I can't I unfortunately can't remember the study, but a while back I read that there was this study done where they gathered a group of maybe 50, 60, 70-year-olds and put them in a retreat setting and divided them. One group was exposed for a few days to words like gray arthritis, pain, older, that sort of stuff. And the other group had neutral words or empowering words and after a while the group that was exposed to the gray and you know pain and all that stuff started moving more slowly and even bent over and apparently aged psychologically. Chronologically they were the same age, they had the same time frame in that experimental space, but one group, based on the words that were exposed to them and that they received to be true of their description in their own lot in life, actually started behaving congruently with an older group, so to speak, and that's very powerful congruently with an older group, so to speak, and that's very powerful.

Coach Michael Taylor:

Oh yeah, I mean and you know, it's been said that the mind cannot distinguish between what is real and what is vividly imagined. Yeah, so if you vividly imagine yourself as you're getting older in a positive light, guess what's going to happen If you vividly see yourself as getting older and degrading and going the opposite direction. That's what's going to show up in your life. And it does come back to mindset and how we think, because thoughts become things and as we're thinking about getting older, it's the attitude that we have and even more so, the feeling. Ah, that's the key. If we have this feeling of optimism, of hope, it creates energy in the body and the body responds.

Coach Michael Taylor:

But if we're fearful, that is negative and it's going to show up in negative aspects of your body Disease, you know, discomfort, negative emotion, negative feeling. So it's important that we maintain this, this positive energy, if you will. Now, my, my tagline is I am an irrepressible optimist with a passion for the impossible. That's my tagline. Now, what kind of energy comes from that, that positive energy? And boy does it fuel me to do some amazing things.

Coach Stacy:

Yeah, Absolutely. Clearly. Both in our listening audience are in full agreement with you, Coach Michael. Full agreement, Go ahead, Wayne. I'm sorry to interrupt you.

Coach Wayne:

No, I was just going to say that. You know that on my platform, one of the things that I talk about is when I see folks not achieving their fullest potential behind the scenes. It comes down to what I call the Paul syndrome. They don't think it's possible, which is learned hopelessness, right. They don't think they have the ability, which is learned helplessness. And they don't think they're worthy, they don't think that they're deserving, right.

Coach Wayne:

And when we age, we own and hold on to one or all of those. We own and hold on to one or all of those we figure, oftentimes because of the environment that we have, that cast to the side the elderly or those who are aging. I mean right now, Stacy, we had a show that we were talking about is the only time, unprecedented time in our history where we have five generations intermingling in the workplace, intermingling in the workplace and what's happening as a result is we're seeing where there's just a difference of how we do things and oftentimes the older generation is saying to the younger generation boy, if I had your youth and your energy, what I would be able to do? And the youth or younger generations are saying man, you're too old, get out of the way. Generations are saying man, you're too old, get out of the way.

Coach Wayne:

So, unfortunately, you know, we buy into this false narrative about what aging should be in our environment, in our community, in our society. So we have these. Learn helplessness, learn I'm not able to and I'm not enough. Why and I'm not enough? Why? Because oftentimes we're comparing ourselves to, to social media or the hype that's given to us by others, rather than digging deeply, changing the mind to a growth mindset and recognizing that we have the ability to be and do anything that we truly want to do. You know, michael, you talked about your knees, but maybe you can't run a mile at a certain level, but that doesn't mean you can't swim and get the same fitness level, absolutely.

Coach Michael Taylor:

Absolutely. Well, you know, we've heard forever this whole idea that you can't teach an old dog new tricks, and nothing could be further from the truth. Absolutely. An old dog can learn new tricks if he's willing to commit to it. He's just got to make the commitment that he wants to learn some new tricks.

Coach Stacy:

Or if the treats are good. You know, I have a dog, so when, when the treats are good, right, he's an older dog, he'll learn some new tricks, right? And it is in this analogy the treats are that life of possibility.

Coach Michael Taylor:

Absolutely.

Coach Stacy:

Right, that's the driver, the life of possibility, the life of being able to pursue dreams and heartfelt desires. Those are the treats, and that's where we learn to do some new tricks.

Coach Michael Taylor:

But you know, the data also shows that our most productive time frame in our lives is in our 70s. Now think about that. Our most productive years are in our 70s. Second, we're 60s and I say one of the reasons that is is if we, you know, if we live just an average life, you know we go through life and by then you know we've had the kids, we've done all this stuff, you know, hopefully we set ourselves up with a little bank account so we can do some things. But for me, I think, as you get older, I think what we do is we live life backwards. And here's what I mean when we're young, we're partying, baby, we're having a good time, and then we get around 35 and 40 and say, oh okay, it's time to slow down and get serious about life. And then we get a job, maybe the wife, the house and so forth, and then, as we get older, we start going into this idea about this thing called retirement. Well see, for me I say Do it all early.

Coach Michael Taylor:

One of the things that I'm really proud of myself for doing is that a very early age, I had a plan, and that plan was number one I wanted to be a dad that was. That was I wanted to be a dad and I wanted to find the perfect partner. Now I happened to get divorced when I was, as mentioned, 20, 29. But I still had that commitment that I was going to be a great father, I was going to be a good husband. So I did find the love of my life.

Coach Michael Taylor:

I've been blissfully married for the past 23 years or so, but my commitment was these are some things that I wanted to accomplish in my life and I've basically done everything I set out to do in my 20s Became a good father, been a great husband, written books and all of that. One of the things I think that's missing for us and why people get stuck in later years of life because they don't have a plan, they don't know or have not set any goals, anything to strive for. And so are you guys familiar with the be do have triangle?

Coach Stacy:

I am not.

Coach Michael Taylor:

The be do have triangle. Here's the key. I believe this is the key to a happy life the B do have. Most of us believe so. Imagine a triangle Okay. So at the top of the triangle we're going to put the word do Okay. On the bottom left of the triangle we're going to put have. And on the right we're going to put be. So most people what they do is if I do this, I can have this and I'll be this Okay. So if I do this thing called get a job, I'm going to have some money and then I'll be happy. Okay. But we put all the emphasis on doing stuff. The key is, if we put B at the top, if I be happy, I can do whatever I want and I can have whatever I want.

Coach Michael Taylor:

But our society gets it backwards. It doesn't teach us how to be. It's always focusing on what to do. Nothing wrong with doing stuff, nothing wrong with having stuff. But doing stuff and having stuff is never going to make you happy. Happiness is an inside job. You got to be willing to do the inner work to be happy. And so if we'll put our focus on being happy and the feeling because you know everything, we do, everything we do, we do in an attempt to be happy. Think about it. Why do we go to work? We go to work to make money. Why do we make money? Because we want to buy stuff. Why do we buy stuff? Because we want to be happy, right, so there's this. We get caught in this trap, but we forget that the beingness, it's what's truly important. And again, I chased money for a long time. It wasn't until I learned to be happy first that I could attract the money that I'd always dreamed of.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah, powerful.

Coach Stacy:

Curtis said yes, sir, and there's some. There's definitely some basic instruction before leaving earth foundation in there of us prioritizing the being, not the doing. It is not our works right that are going to do it. It's really in us being, who we authentically and purposefully are, that is opening the door to the having.

Coach Michael Taylor:

Yeah, and in that process, if we do it properly, purpose will come to the surface Absolutely. Purpose will show up when we learn to be authentically happy. Purpose will show up because what that does is it helps us tap into the unique gifts and talent that we already have. Yes, where does the happiness come from? It comes from expressing those things. It comes from expressing that purpose, that joy, that passion or whatever, but it's still about the beingness of expressing that purpose, that joy, that passion or whatever, but it's still about the beingness of expressing that purpose.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah, you know. The VIP framework, which my entire business is founded on, talks about living in congruence with your values, your core values, having a sense of self or identity that's in alignment with that, and when those two are coupled together, your purpose jumps out at you. Your purpose finds you. Your purpose is a divine assignment themselves happy, seeing themselves abundant, seeing themselves healthy, seeing themselves safely, securely married and all that stuff. When they start owning that identity and living in truth, authentically with their values, they find purpose and fulfillment, and not the other way around. So I'm in total agreement with you, coach Michael. Stacy how do we, as we get on the last fur where you know, how do they develop into this place of security and safety and feeling better about themselves as coaches?

Coach Stacy:

Yeah, I believe step one is always be honest with yourself and where you are right now. Right, we cannot heal what we don't reveal, and oftentimes those limiting beliefs, the mindset that is holding us back is so tamped down by life that we actually stop. We don't even know what's happening. We don't really know what's happening. Many have lost touch with who they are, where they are and why, and so I believe that one of the first steps is to really be honest with yourself, not from a judgmental standpoint that's never going to help us move forward but to ask some of these great questions that we've heard in this conversation today and to really let those answers rise, give them some space, whether it be on a piece of paper or in a little voice note, so that you can really begin to deal with where you are from a place of authenticity, and start to identify what the vision is based on, your current values, of where you want to go. And then it's a step-by-step process, right, that's the beauty of coaching to help you engage those steps.

Coach Wayne:

Powerful. Thank you, Stacy. Coach Michael, before we get going and talk about our end-of-season opportunities for folks, what are your last words? What would you have others in your coaching space do so that they, too, can be where you are in terms of the mindset, as they age?

Coach Michael Taylor:

Well, for me personally, the most powerful thing that I've ever done was address some childhood wounds that I didn't recognize were impacting my life as an adult, because I possibly had the worst childhood you could ever imagine. I experienced every imaginable type of child abuse, and it wasn't until I did this workshop with a guy named John Bradshaw called Healing your Inner Child, and it was in that workshop that I was able to learn, number one, how I had disconnected from my emotions, disconnected from my feelings, and so I processed everything from the neck up in my head, and so it wasn't until I healed that childhood trauma that I could be free. Because I remember when I first started this process I was really into the motivational stuff Les Brown, anthony Robbins I did the Anthony Robbins walking on hot coals, barefooted. I was NLP, neuro-linguistic programming, but see, all of that was intellectual, but it wasn't until I got into my heart yeah and heal that trauma, that pain, that I really became free.

Coach Michael Taylor:

So, if nothing else, my recommendation is to everyone to to just make sure that you're in touch with your primary emotions and able to identify and express them in a healthy manner.

Coach Wayne:

Wow,

Coach Stacy:

Stacy

Coach Wayne:

I told you, Michael is the man. Michael is the man. I love it, I love it. That is what he said.

Coach Stacy:

He said Michael is the man he's like we're going to talk about this. We got to have the man.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah, I'm not okay with Gray. How to create anional Life After 50. And the author, coach Michael Taylor. Michael has about 11 or so other books out there. All great reads.

Coach Stacy:

Yeah, I was going to say. I think he said he has 16, 17 books.

Coach Wayne:

Oh, okay, okay, and I know you spoke to me a week ago. There's one coming off the press now and another one getting pressed, so I need your help, michael. You've been a coach in so many ways and a wonderful accountability partner, but I got to get a little bit of a whipping to get mine out, so Stacy. Thank you, michael. Coach, michael Taylor, how do folks reach out to you to connect?

Coach Michael Taylor:

Simplest way is on screen right now, coach Michael Taylor dot com. Now, specifically for the brothers out there who are watching. Ok, because that's like yourself, wayne, that's. My primary goal is to empower black men. I have a site called Shatteredthestereotypescom, and, for Black men who are ready to dive into this personal development space, shatterthestereotypecom is an ideal place for brothers to get resources for their transformation. I just completed filming a documentary called Shatter the Stereotypes and it is going to be powerful. It is an opportunity for brothers to see, number one, what we're doing as Black men in society, which you generally don't see, but also to see what's possible for them, because the media has said this thing about, there's a lack of Black male role models forever. There's never been a lack of Black male role models. There's only been a lack of exposure of those role models. So the shadow of the stereotypescom is an opportunity for brothers to engage in this process that we're talking about, which is transformation.

Coach Wayne:

Powerful stuff, thank you.

Coach Stacy:

Absolutely, thank you. So let me, let me ask Michael so do you feel the target audience for Shadow of the Stereotypes dot com is that midlife men, man, or do you believe that the age is relevant?

Coach Michael Taylor:

I have. I have a young man from 18 to 75 that have number one. I've got podcasts on there where I'm interviewing brothers from around the globe that have number one. I've got podcasts on there where I'm interviewing brothers from around the globe. I've got courses there. I've got again access to the upcoming movie, the books and so forth. So it's for any Black man who's committed to his transformation.

Coach Stacy:

Wonderful, wonderful. I'm also a mom of a Black man and so you know I'm always got those two ears going like oh wait, oh, oh wait. Thank you so much, kenneth. Today's conversation is so delectable, scrumptiously, deliciously, edibly, tasty, good. That's some good stuff right there. I don't know what you all think, but I think that that's some great stuff. Thank you all so much for joining us on this 60th episode of the Midlife Revolution Unleashed.

Coach Wayne:

Wayne tell people how to get in touch with yourself.

Coach Stacy:

I know you got some stuff going on. Wayne got some stuff going on.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Coach Wayne:

You know, Coach Michael, you stay awake many a night working, as do I, and I told Stacy that, though we're taking a little bit of a break for Midlife Revolution Unleashed, we're not going anywhere per se.

Coach Wayne:

You'll be able to see repeats and go on your favorite podcast channels, youtube, and catch us. Especially, we'll be replaying some of the more popular ones episodes, but I will be launching a podcast in the interim where I will be making that announcement, this before the week is done, just so that brothers will understand. It's a place for often the unspoken brothers, brothers who are carrying a load, that are wearing that hard cover, that skin, and are afraid to get out of the man box and become vulnerable. So what we're going to do is talk to these brothers about their issues and create a group, a safe group, a place where brothers can come together, hold one another up and you'll hear a lot more about that in the days to,S tacy, as we get out of here, how do people get in front of you and get some of that wonderful coaching that you offer?

Coach Stacy:

Well, this beautiful community knows that I can be reached at thestacymlewiscom. Certainly, if you are connected to us on LinkedIn, on Facebook or on YouTube, you are welcome to DM us. I am so excited, Wayne, about what you are doing, and, Coach Michael, again, thank you so very much for joining us for this special, special, special episode. Wayne was right, we couldn't have had a greater guest.

Coach Michael Taylor:

Hey Wayne, real quick I want to throw something out at you. You said that I stay up late working. Yes, sir, I want you to change that. I never stay up late working, I stay up late creating.

Coach Wayne:

Creating. I love it.

Coach Michael Taylor:

There's a difference.

Coach Stacy:

I was going to say Coach Michael, Coach Wayne does not need encouragement right now, staying up late. The show up on the next day, you know, for some of us is challenging. Yet I do love the reframe. We stay up late, creating Absolutely Love it, love it, thank you.

Coach Wayne:

Listen. If you want to reach out to me, hit VIPTransformativeLiving. Absolutely Love it, love it, thank you. Listen. If you want to reach out to me, hit VIP transformative livingcom. You'll see all my handles social media access, email, everything or just DM me makes it easy squeezy. So we're going to connect with you in the near future. Stace, have yourself a marvelous summer and Coach Michael. Thank you, sir. We're looking forward to the releases. I got to get back to you, michael. I need to get your latest book out in my library. I think I have the last four, so I want to keep going.

Coach Michael Taylor:

I'm ready when you are baby.

Coach Stacy:

Yeah. I'm going to get a signed copy for my son. Something, something you can't. I can't walk away empty handed. It has been a joy and pleasure. Thank you all for checking out the midlife revolution on lease season two, episode 60. It has been our blessing to serve you in this capacity and to spend this time with you, Michael. Thank to spend this time with you, Michael. Thank you so much, Coach Wayne. I'm sure I will see you before we start season three. It has been my joy to work with you.

Coach Wayne:

Yeah, michael, go no place. We're going to get you in the green room in a minute, thank you.

Coach Stacy:

Bye y'all.

Coach Wayne:

And there you have it, folks. This week's episode of the Midlife Revolution Unleashed Bye y'all solutions to spark new thinking and empower your midlife journey. And don't forget if you enjoyed today's episode.

Coach Stacy:

Let us know in the comments and share it with others. And, of course, remember to subscribe. Share like. Hit that notification bell. You are the midlife revolution unleashed. I'm Coach Stacy and I'm cheering you on. And I'm, coach Stacy, and I'm cheering you on.

Coach Wayne:

And I'm coach Wayne and I'll see you at the top.