Midlife Revolution Unleashed

The Power of Pause: Why Rest Matters More Than Hustle

• Stacy M. Lewis & Wayne Dawson • Season 2 • Episode 55

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Rest isn't just about sleep—it's a vital component of thriving in midlife. We explore the seven types of rest essential for your well-being and productivity, especially for our midlife community of color.

Drawing from Dr. Sandra Dalton-Smith's framework, we explore seven distinct types of rest that most people overlook.
• Physical rest includes both passive (doing nothing) and active rest (gentle stretching, massage)
• Creative rest involves appreciating beauty and engaging in play to inspire and rejuvenate
• Social rest means stepping away from draining interactions and limiting social media
• Sensory rest requires reducing input from screens and environmental noise
• Mental rest helps combat decision fatigue that comes from making thousands of decisions daily
• Emotional rest gives permission to acknowledge feelings without judgment or fixing
• Spiritual rest connects us to something larger than ourselves, whether through faith or community

Take a moment to consider: What scares you about stopping? Who are you apart from what you do or provide? Are you performing rest or actually living it?

Join the Midlife Revolution Unleashed by subscribing to our podcast and connecting with us on social media. Your journey to reclaiming the power of rest—and through it, your best midlife—starts here!

Subscribe @CoachStacyMLewis and @CoachWayneVIP

💃🏽Stacy M. Lewis
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🎩Wayne Dawson
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Wayne Dawson:

you've just stepped into the midlife revolution, unleashed your space to ignite possibility, redefine purpose and embrace the power that comes with age and experience, co-hosted by yours truly coach and I'm coach stacy m lewis.

Stacy M. Lewis:

We are two season coaches focused on the midlife community of color. This isn't just a podcast. It's a movement in a world that sometimes forgets the power and the wisdom that comes with age. We are here to ignite a revolution and rewrite the narrative of this incredible journey narrative of this incredible journey.

Wayne Dawson:

So, whether you're navigating your career, growing your business, rediscovering passions or challenging the status quo, this is your space. So buckle up, let's dive into the Midlife Revolution Unleashed. Hello, and we are here. Welcome to another episode of Midlife Revolution Unleashed. I am Coach Wayne, the VIP coach, and I help brothers to move across the threshold of midlife land on their feet in the second half, so it's their best half. With me today is none other than the great Coach Stacy M Lewis. Stacy, how are you today?

Stacy M. Lewis:

I am fine and fantastic, coach Wayne. It is always a pleasure to spend this time with you as I try to get my lighting right. Welcome everyone to the Midlife Revolution Unleashed. I am indeed your co-host, coach Stacy M Lewis. I'm a nonprofit executive, a coach to midlife women, a lover of God and his people on most days, and I am always so excited to share this platform to talk about the richness of midlife with my dear friend and co-host, coach Wayne.

Wayne Dawson:

Stacy, we are in the process of bantering on to the next level and our life is just filled with the next step, the next thing. And today we want to pause for a cause and talk about rest. We want to help our friends listening in to recognize the importance of that four letter word, r-e-s-t, which is just as important, if not more so, than the grind that we go through day and day for success.

Stacy M. Lewis:

I could not agree with you more, and the thought that just occurred to me, or I guess the thought I was reminded of, is the reality that God, the creator of heaven and earth, set the example for rest right. It talks about what happened on the first day and on the second day and on the third day, and then the fourth, fifth and sixth day, when God filled right All the things that he created with on that first, second and third day. On the seventh day, what happened, Wayne? What happened on the seventh day?

Wayne Dawson:

There was a pause for cause, just rest.

Stacy M. Lewis:

Not because we believe the creator needed the rest, but was setting the example for us to rest. We have some successes. It's a really stressful time out there right now and we are here to remind you, in this season of resilience, in this season of wisdom, to remember to rest. There's a lot of talk about the hustle and grind, but we need to rest to find power in the pause, so let's dive in.

Wayne Dawson:

Wayne, let's dive in. So the one rest that most of us are accustomed to and aware of is that physical rest where we take a break. Many of us do that the one way we know how, which is through sleep and there are many other avenues and modalities of physical rest, but we are accustomed to sleep and even that Stacy, there is a science to getting the maximum amount or optimizing your sleep, the physical rest. It's important and I'll say this that I know that there are many folks who struggle with weight loss and weight management per se, and one of the things that your trainer or doctor, or whomever it is that's supervising, will let you know is there is a balance and a relationship between your gaining weight and the amount of rest that you're getting.

Stacy M. Lewis:

Yes, I think you're right in that the physical rest is the one that we talk about. The physical rest is extremely important and as Wayne and I were talking about this episode, we really began to look at Dr Sondra Dalton- Smith's seven types of rest. So this is going to be a really robust conversation because getting that you know, put your head on the pillow, rest truly important. But there are so many opportunities for us to rest not just our body, our mind, our emotions, et cetera. So let's keep going, Wayne. Yeah.

Wayne Dawson:

Yeah, Stacy, I was looking at some of the notes that came up here. And one of the things that you talked about on the seventh day, but we know that winter we talk about. There's a season for all things and, in terms of mother nature, when you look out, if you are from that part of the country where you experienced winter, it is indeed a time of rest as well, isn't it?

Stacy M. Lewis:

At least in nature it is. I don't know when it's cold out there. It's a little challenging to get that physical rest at least. But you are absolutely right. And good evening, Curtis. It is always good to have you in the room. So, Wayne, let's start to dive into these seven types of rest and really encourage our listener around easy opportunities to engage in them, and prayerfully, technology will be on our side. There we go. Where would you like to start? You talked about physical rest.

Wayne Dawson:

Yeah, let's talk a little bit more about that physical rest.

Stacy M. Lewis:

Stacy for me.

Wayne Dawson:

So, as a person who likes to go to the gym and get my workout in, even during that period, for your body to respond in terms of growth and strength, you beat it up on your workout days. There has to be rest days between, and there are two types of rest days. For the physical, there's passive rest and there's active rest. Active rest is when you simply just do nothing, you just you go into your winter, so to speak. Vig, okay. Passive rest, yes. Passive rest is where you are not necessarily forcing the body but you're doing stretching, for example, and gentle massage and that sort of stuff on the off day, but you're still resting and recuperating and restoring.

Stacy M. Lewis:

It is important for you to be your best self, that you make sure that you incorporate both in your routine so what you just said, it was really around that the physical rest, the physical aspect of rest is not just about that putting your head on the pillow but it is, as you're saying. The physical aspect of rest could be disconnecting from everything else and getting that walk, but the physical aspect of rest can also be and if you're working out, really setting aside that time for your body to rest and restore, so really taking the breaks. I love that breakdown. And good evening, delaine. Always a pleasure to see her.

Wayne Dawson:

Good evening Delaine and brother Curtis, who I owe a call.

Stacy M. Lewis:

I'm not in that. Let's keep going and talking about rest.

Wayne Dawson:

Yes, Stacy, you want us to go clockwise or counterclockwise on this? I?

Stacy M. Lewis:

think we go where we want to go and I'm happy to take what's next. How about that? I think one of the things that I enjoy the most is creative rest. I think one of the things that I enjoy the most is creative rest, and I think we're all somewhat naturally creative at heart. But that real opportunity to just appreciate creativity, to play, to enjoy the beauty, the gifts that are around you Uh, that's what Dr Dalton talks about as creative rest. How does that resonate for you, Wayne? I?

Wayne Dawson:

like it and it really works for me because I uh, I like gardening inherited it from my mother's genes, I think.

Stacy M. Lewis:

My sisters.

Wayne Dawson:

They like gardening. Delaine, vivian and I love gardening and walking up to my house, my neighbor also has a green thumb and so she plants up, and so do I, and we decorate, and it's spring, so we're blooming. Now come around the corner. That mindset of a hectic day is sort of relieved for me as I see the beauty, the creative rest that comes on me, that dawns on me, as I see this beautiful flower garden or these gardens, and so you know, some of us can have that done too in the way of just taking time out to play a puzzle during your busy schedule to untangle the mind that has been caught up in productive activity throughout the day.

Stacy M. Lewis:

I love it. I love it, and so it is that connecting right. The creative rest is part of that. Connecting with things that inspire you, that you find beautiful, that, where you're able to create, is what, to me, you were talking about as you are gardening, as well as when you're able to step back and appreciate what has been created or what is blooming and to really acknowledge that right. It doesn't have to be a big celebration, but acknowledging that beauty in silence is creative rest love it social rest.

Wayne Dawson:

how? How could we leave this out? Because when we talk about social rest, we're talking about not just getting away from the noisy neighbors, but we're talking about social rest in the way of the interactions that we have, many of whom, many of the people that I know, are caught up with this and don't take a break. You know, you may think you're getting a break because you're holding this computer in your hand. We call a telephone, but if you're on it, scrolling 24-7 and getting engaged in social media, you're not giving yourself the due and needed social rest, and that's very important.

Stacy M. Lewis:

Yeah, what I think is interesting about the concept of social rest I think it's interesting about the concept of social rest, right is that it was likely developed. This is my imagination, I could be totally wrong here because I don't know the dates, but my thought is that it was likely developed really before the ramp up of social media, media. And so, yes, there's the way that social rest and sensory rest work together, right. So the social media is really impacting, right, the sensory experience, to your point, the looking at the screens, the hearing, the videos or the ringings, the devices and when I think about the social rest it's also being focused on that are fueling or energizing and resting from relationships or social environments that are draining or toxic. So listening to you really for me, draws a closer relationship between social rest and sensory rest.

Wayne Dawson:

You know the older I've gotten the less tolerant I am. Of bedlam you know crazy, noisy people and places and things.

Wayne Dawson:

And so I really even hearing things in the kitchen drop pots and pans being moved up and down kind of gets on my nerves and gets me on edge. So for me, social rest is very important. As I've gotten older I find that I have much less tolerance for the humbug of, you know, big crowds. I got to pull away from that. I never was one who enjoyed it. To be honest, if I didn't get access backstage or through access upfront, it was difficult for me to join lines and that sort of thing. But we need that social rest Stacy. Oftentimes our nerves are on end because of so much bombardment. And to your point, back to the sensory rest. You know, when you are around folks, especially outside of your locus of control, you can't control them socially. It means that there is more, I guess, infiltration on your space sensorily.

Stacy M. Lewis:

Absolutely, absolutely, which means that it's also connected. Right, so clearly they all work together. Right? We have this beautiful circular diagram. Listening to you talk about the pots and pans and the crowds. Touches on the social, on the sensory and on the emotional rest. That importance of really giving ourselves permission to feel right, to acknowledge the feels right, as they say, to acknowledge that, you know, when I hear these certain sounds, it really resonates in me in a not so good way. But that permission to say this is how I'm feeling, without judging it, without fixing it, but acknowledging it, is a form of emotional rest, like, okay, I'm not going to beat myself up because I didn't X, y and Z, I'm going to say this is what happened, I gave it my best, I appreciate me, this is what happened, I gave it my best, I appreciate me and I acknowledge how I feel about it and not let it overtake me or be consumed in me, trying to fix it or judge it.

Wayne Dawson:

Yeah, stace, have we totally turned the page on the sensory rest piece, or can I?

Stacy M. Lewis:

add one more piece on that. Oh, go right ahead. Blue screens.

Wayne Dawson:

Sensory rest piece. Or can I add one more piece on that? Oh, go right ahead. Blue screens, sensory rest.

Wayne Dawson:

A lot of folks retire for the night, including moi, and we take with us the blue screen, the TV, or we take with us the computer, with us the computer. It is said that, in terms of the brain waves, that helps you with restoration and the period in the what's known as a circadian rhythm. Uh, the body goes through its phases of sleep cycle and rest, um, and there is a supposedly an optimal period, and that's usually, they say, between 10 and 2, where you're getting the most regenerative rest. During that period the brainwaves slow down to alpha and theta waves and then, when deep sleep, it's delta, but there is beta waves, which happens while you are alive and well and visibly doing things. Blue screens keep your beta levels high, which means that you're not in the rest zone, sensorily watching TV or watching your handheld computer, the telephone, whatever. Within two hours of going to sleep, they suggest you unplug from all of that, all your devices, and so they have done enough tests to recognize that this is in fact real and a problem in our society today.

Stacy M. Lewis:

I don't believe that any of us are shocked by that. I certainly appreciate you bringing in the science behind the disconnect from all of these things before you try to lay your head down and rest peacefully. So thank you for adding that very valuable nugget, Coach Wayne.

Wayne Dawson:

Stacy mental rest. You want to take that one on.

Stacy M. Lewis:

Absolutely. I think that we can all easily connect with or understand mental rest. It is when we are allowing our mind, our thoughts, to take a break. Many people refer to it as mindfulness. We are often talking about mindfulness, but it really is the freeing the mind from the constant decision-making, the fatigue from decision-making. I don't know, Wayne, if you saw the post today on LinkedIn where the young lady I believe it was Charmaine talked about the number of decisions that we make every day and the range she presented, which was evidence-based, was from 6,000 to like 70,000, right, so a huge number in there, and imagine the mental, the emotional, that all of that energy being spent and the need for our minds to rest in order to refuel. So I love the idea of mental rest, in particular, when it comes to decision fatigue.

Wayne Dawson:

Yeah, Let me touch on the fellas for a minute. The boys boy talk.

Stacy M. Lewis:

Go right ahead.

Wayne Dawson:

You know one of the things that is happening right across the country men of color are imploding in many ways because they're not getting the mental and we'll talk a little bit too about that emotional piece the rest, we are burnt out. But because we believe that we have to show up as tough, hard, managing it all, not asking for help we are not able to diffuse the stressors that we are dealing with mentally right, just getting up and going into a world where you're not recognized as a full man.

Wayne Dawson:

that alone is stressful, and because we're not asking for help, because we don't take time out we're too busy grinding, we don't take a pause, as our title suggests, today we eventually implode. It shows up in hypertension. It shows up in weight gain as well yes, for men too. It shows up as heart failure, among some other things. It shows up as aggression and violence, and and and addictions. So it's very important that we pay attention to this mental rest attention to this mental rest.

Stacy M. Lewis:

Yeah, I agree with you, and while I believe that many of our listeners that happen to be women, midlife women, can relate to what it is you just shared about men I mean and experientially relate, one of the challenges for women is the mental and emotional exhaustion from holding so much in, from looking to manage, support many others' emotional needs, many others' social needs and really, you know, performing at work, performing in business, so many decisions and such high levels of exhaustion we're holding in.

Stacy M. Lewis:

That you know, while we may not and we certainly are not here to be scientists, so I'm not sure the data that talks about, you know the correlation, say, between holding it all in and addiction or holding it all in, and you know stress levels, but what we do know is that those stress levels and that holding it all in does increase cortisol, which is known to proven to data research says increases weight gain, and so when you think about that holding it all in and the number of us and I say us as myself, as a midlife woman and someone that struggles with managing these pounds that just don't seem to want to go away, I need to, I'm reminded and I appreciate this episode because I'm reminded to look at what I might be holding in, look at opportunities for mental rest, for emotional rest, and engage that in ways that help me feel better.

Wayne Dawson:

Yeah, and the word is seek support. There's no shame in the game. You know talking to the fellas especially and I'm sure across the board to our female counterpart, when you're dealing with enough too much a lot, you can ask for help. It's okay. It doesn't make you less of a human being or an adult or a responsible person. You can ask for help.

Stacy M. Lewis:

I agree with you 2000%. I agree with you 2000%. And the one rest aspect that we did not talk about is that spiritual rest. And what we mean when we say spiritual rest, it really is in that opportunity to connect with your creator and say like this is what's going on right the scripture talks about. He's saying my burdens are like give it to me, I'll take it, cast all your cares on me. And so again, a great self reminder that I don't have to hold it all. To your point, Wayne, we don't have to hold it all, we are not meant to hold it all. And what opportunities do we have to really engage in spiritual rest? And it doesn't only have to be prayer, it can be talking with someone right that shares kind of that spiritual connection really, or doing things that connect you with your purpose. That is spiritual rest and a critical part, I believe, of us being able to move forward.

Wayne Dawson:

Yeah, Spiritual rest is going beyond self, right, it's connecting to something more whole and full than you. So thus we talk about God, but so too is community, and community that share in a like-mindedness also offers us a sounding board, a place to find our spiritual, as it were, connection. So you know, at a time like this, especially at a time like this, where there is so much division and issues around sense of belonging, one truly needs that time to set aside for community rest, spiritual rest. And again, Stacy to your point, we're not talking about toxic communities, right? We're talking about supportive communities that resonate with the wholeness which is beyond ourself.

Stacy M. Lewis:

There are multiple opportunities right throughout every day for each of us to connect with each of these seven types of rest. We talked about physical rest, mental rest, emotional rest, social rest, sensory rest, creative rest and spiritual rest. We want to remind ourselves and our listeners that rest is not a weakness. It is an important part of life and thriving, and, as we shared earlier that we've got a great demonstration of the position, the priority of rest, rest and so our hope is that this episode is indeed doing just that reminding us all that rest is important. The grind is the grind, but we don't have to live in the grind.

Wayne Dawson:

My other brother, paul Newell, is on the line, and Paul, thank you for jumping through my brother. We got to do something together this Thursday, so so I gotta give you a call, or call, oh boy I'm just saying coach Wayne is using tonight's episode as his reconnect with the brother tribe episode as well.

Stacy M. Lewis:

Okay, paul, y'all, y'all have figured out trust and believe you know.

Stacy M. Lewis:

Wayne, I saw in our notes this quote by Jim Lehrer, and it says energy, not, it is that rest that is going to allow us to renew the energy so that we can really perform at our peak. It's not about hustling grind, it really is about being smart and utilizing the resources of energy and time, and so I really like that quote. And we talked about currency last episode, so for those of you didn't check it out, feel free to go to Midlife Revolution Unleashed on your favorite podcast player and catch that episode as well.

Wayne Dawson:

And catch that episode as well. What you got to say, it's the bottom of the hour we got to get out of here. You know, just turn the lights out and close the door behind you.

Stacy M. Lewis:

It's not, it's not. It is not that, hey, golly, turn off the lights and close the door. The music has stopped, the turntables are shutting down. What we want to remind our audience, right is, here are a couple of questions, so to speak, to think about as you consider what we talked about tonight. What scares you about stopping, about pausing, about resting? Maybe you don't have a problem with rest and so you're like, oh no, this is good, good reminder to continue my rest patterns. Who are you, apart from what you do or what you provide? So often, what we do and what we provide is so entrenched into who we believe we are. That that's what causes us to keep going on that hustle and grind. And are you performing rest or actually living it?

Wayne Dawson:

Yeah, stace, sir, there's a time for everything, as we said In the season, and for sure If we remind ourselves that when things are slow For folks who are In the grind Making that cheese, that dinero, if things are slow, we have to recognize that, even In the universe of multiplication and making of money, there is a season of rest, and so, if we start reframing what that means, it's perhaps a time to sit back and to selectively see where we are sowing our seeds before reaping season.

Wayne Dawson:

So don't always see slowness and rest as death or destruction. Oftentimes it can be seen as the launch pin to production and abundance.

Stacy M. Lewis:

I love it. Tell us in the chat or in the comments when you catch the replay. What kind of rest are you reclaiming this season, Wayne, it is always my heart's joy to spend this time with you and our Midlife Revolution Unleashed community.

Wayne Dawson:

And our Midlife Revolution Unleashed community. Same here, Stacy. So we have told the folks just now where to catch us. You can DM me if you want to have a one-on-one to see if we're a good fit to help you along the way. And same for Stacy.

Stacy M. Lewis:

Anytime, you know how to reach me. We'll see you next time, folks.

Wayne Dawson:

God bless. And there you have it, folks. This week's episode of the Midlife Revolution Unleashed. Hey, we truly appreciate your spending this time in this space with us. Join us next week at the same time as we dive into relevant topics and present solutions to spark new thinking and empower your midlife journey.

Stacy M. Lewis:

And don't forget if you enjoyed today's episode, let us know in the comments and share it with others. And, of course, remember to subscribe, share like. Hit that notification bell. You are the midlife revolution unleashed. I'm Coach Stacy and I'm cheering you on.

Wayne Dawson:

And I'm Coach Wayne and I'll see you at the top.