Midlife Meets the Holidays: Protecting Your Peace, Wallet & Wellness

🌟 The holidays are here, and while they bring joy and connection, they can also be overwhelming—especially for midlife individuals navigating cultural, familial, and financial pressures. 

From setting boundaries to keeping your budget in check, we’re covering five key pillars—mental, emotional, physical, financial, and spiritual health—to ensure you don’t just survive the holidays but thrive through them.

🎙 In this episode, we’ll discuss:

• The duality of the holidays: balancing joy with stress.
• Actionable tips for protecting your time, energy, and wallet.
• Cultural nuances of the season for communities of color, and how to embrace your unique traditions while prioritizing your well-being.
• A simple self-assessment to identify which areas of your health need the most attention.

🛠 Key Takeaways:

• Strategies for saying “no” without guilt and setting boundaries that honor your mental health.
• Creative ways to keep your holiday budget under control while still giving meaningfully.
• Ideas to prioritize rest, movement, and mindfulness amidst the seasonal hustle.
• A fresh perspective on aligning your spiritual practices with your holiday intentions.

Whether you’re feeling the holiday stress or simply want to make this season more meaningful, this episode will help you stay grounded and thrive in every aspect of your life.

Highlights:

1. Mental Health: The power of boundaries and daily mindfulness.
2. Emotional Health: Caring for your “emotional Christmas tree” and creating a joy list.
3. Physical Health: Scheduling rest, balancing indulgence, and staying active.
4. Financial Health: Meaningful over material—budgeting for joy without regret.
5. Spiritual Health: Setting a holiday intention and reconnecting with practices that ground you.

Listener Challenge:
Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 in each of the five health pillars—mental, emotional, physical, financial, and spiritual. Identify where you need to focus most this holiday season, and commit to taking one step toward thriving in that area.

Let’s reclaim this holiday season, together. Don’t just survive—thrive! 🌟

Subscribe @CoachStacyMLewis and @CoachWayneVIP

💃🏽Stacy M. Lewis
🌍 thestacymlewis.com
Schedule a Connecting Conversation
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🎩Wayne Dawson
🌍 viptransformativeliving.com
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Transcript

Caoch Wayne: 0:09

You've just stepped into the Midlife Revolution Unleashed. Your space to ignite possibility, redefine purpose, and embrace the power that comes with age and experience. Co-hosted by yours truly, Coach.

Coach Stacy: 0:22

And I'm Coach Stacy M. Lewis. We are two seasoned coaches focused on the midlife community of color. This isn't just a podcast, it's a movement. In a world that sometimes forgets the power and the wisdom that comes with age, we are here to ignite a revolution and rewrite the narrative of this incredible journey.

Caoch Wayne: 0:45

So whether you're navigating your career, growing your business, rediscovering passions, or challenging the status quo, this is your space. So buckle up, let's dive into the midlife revolution unleashed. Unleash me, Stacy. Okay, it's time to get going. Good afternoon, wherever you are, or good afternoon, good morning, good night. I don't know. Good something.

Coach Stacy: 1:21

Good something. It is always a good something. It's a good time uh to be alive and a good time to join us here at the Midlife Revolution Unleashed. Welcome to our listeners, our viewers, the combination. Um, we're just excited to be here. How are you doing today, Coach Wayne?

Caoch Wayne: 1:41

Stacey, I'm okay. We I just ran out to move my car. You know, the everybody around here is refacing, doing over their apartments, their homes, uh freshen up for the holiday season, and we black tarped uh all of the driveways leading into the complex. And so we had to park illegally. It was allowed for a day. So I just ran out and moved my car, and it's ready. We're ready for the Thanksgiving holidays. How about you, Stacy?

Coach Stacy: 2:14

I'm doing fantastic. Uh, I am uh excited uh to hopefully spend a lot of time relaxing over the next number of days. So hoping that uh the nuggets that we dropped tonight really inspire our listening audience to make sure that you know when midlife meets the holidays, they are protecting their peace, their wallet, and their wellness. Very important, very important.

Caoch Wayne: 2:46

I don't know if it's always in that order. Maybe the wellness comes before the wallet, right? Maybe uh reminding folks not to leave stuff on their visibly so on their car seats this holiday season, put it in the trunk and do so before you get to the destination.

Coach Stacy: 3:04

Yes, yes, yes. You have to protect your purchases. We should have added that as a talking point. Um, but indeed, during this holiday season or as we rapidly approach the holiday season, we just really want to make sure that we are taking uh taking note of where we are, of our time, of our mental health, our financial health, our spiritual health. Um, you know, because the holidays can get a little hectic. And so we're hoping to avoid that. Good evening, sister Audrey. It is so good to see you. I miss you.

Caoch Wayne: 3:44

Yeah, it's good to see you, Audrey, since I don't see you anymore. That's my wife. She's got a job that's an hour away from home, so she's up in the the early dawn and back after sunset, Stacy. So I guess we gotta have to have these phones more often so she gets to call in and I get to talk to her.

Coach Stacy: 4:06

Yeah, I'm gonna stay out of that. That's hilarious. So when we think about protecting our peace, our wallet, and our wellness, and more, as you said, Wayne, what's one of the first things that come to mind that you want to share with our midlife revolution unleashed audience?

Caoch Wayne: 4:28

Well, let's talk about the emotional duress and stress that comes around because you know, traditionally, in many places, this holiday season is an opportunity to get together with loved ones and friends and family. And for some folk, this is a reminder that they are absented that connection. Somebody has moved on or is no longer in their circle, and so it brings around that sense of um emptiness, depression, even. And let's talk a little bit about how we suggest that folks could manage that.

Coach Stacy: 5:10

Yeah, I think it's a really important one to remember. I'm seeing, I don't know about you, Wayne, but I'm seeing a number of um events, whether they be podcasts or live streams, really about managing emotions, grief, and loss during the holidays. Um, and it is so important. Clearly, it deserves a lot of attention. And one of the uh things I've been thinking about recently is decorating your emotional Christmas tree. Um, for those that you know celebrate Christmas. I think we can all relate to the Christmas tree whether we uh celebrate Christmas or not, but it really is remembering the hope, the joy, the compassion, um, and most importantly, the gratitude. I think that focusing on some of those nuggets can really help you decorate your emotional um Christmas tree, as we say.

Caoch Wayne: 6:15

Yeah, and to pass on the legacy of love, to storytelling, to share with others the gift of giving and what the season is for some folk. Uh, you know, I don't eat turkey, but for me, it's beyond that. It's the opportunity, like I said, to gather with friends and family and uh you know watch the game or just chill. But to be able to tell stories, this is what happens with a lot of the midlifers. The younger folks are having fun, playing cards, doing whatever. And and we're telling stories, passing it on.

Coach Stacy: 6:56

Well said, and good evening to Curtis. Thank you so much for joining us tonight. Beloved Brother Curtis, thank you. That's right. Love some brother Curtis. Um, I love what you just said, Wayne. And I think you know, we're always trying to provide some really um practical tips. So, as you shared about the storytelling, it just reminded me um that if you don't have anyone to tell those stories to, maybe consider creating your own joy list or reminding yourselves of the things that bring you joy, of the things that make you happy, of the things that maybe you're starting to vision and dream about 2025? What are the hopes and visions and dreams for next year that you really want to focus on? There are many ways to really um ensure that your emotional peace, your emotional health is intact during this holiday season.

Caoch Wayne: 7:54

And Stacey, you had mentioned in in a previous conversation, what about people who are new to divorced or just had a breakup? You know, it's different from the loss in terms of a person who has moved on, transitioned. And oftentimes those folks don't want to hold on to happy memories there for whatever reason. Well, it's still an opportunity for us to be endeared with the people who love us and care about us. You know, this is perfect, a perfect excuse to call on an old war buddy or sister and connect. Because now that you have the space and the time to do so, uh, do it.

Coach Stacy: 8:36

Yeah, yeah. Even if they drive you a little crazy, at least it can be a distraction, right? From some of those more raw emotions, um, in a way that just has you focusing on other things. Like my brother is a little, a little loopy in the head. Yes, he's on LinkedIn. So at some point he'll see this. Um, but you know, he keeps us laughing. So sometimes you just you gotta go with with that, even if they're just a little loopy in the head. Yeah.

Caoch Wayne: 9:08

Shout out to my my big sister, Vivine, who is here from Jamaica hanging out with the family. We did dinner on Sunday, and I plan to see her. She's coming over to Audrey's family's house for Thanksgiving. And let's talk about psychological, managing the psychological stress and duress. You know, it's a time where people are concerned about well, who's gonna do what? Um, running around to gather for gifts, um, just closing out the year. How do how do we manage all that duress?

Coach Stacy: 9:45

I believe that one thing we have as seasoned people, right? As these people living in this midlife, is that we already know we can conquer so much of that. We already know that we can stop ourselves from getting sucked into a lot of that stress and duress, as you say, um, before the holidays even set in. And I love um this idea of not only setting clear um boundaries but setting clear expectations. Uh, I I think it's critical. What do you think?

Caoch Wayne: 10:28

I'll tell you how deep that goes. When my kids, who are now, like you say, offspring, they're not kids anymore. They groom. That's right. They are not kids. Kids when they say that, yeah. Yeah. In the past, I've had a few surprise gifts, and all you tells me just be gracious and grateful, but sometimes it never gets out of the box, you know what I mean? I don't like the stuff because I won't use it and it stays in the box. But I gotta smile and thank my daughter or my son for the gift. But I want stuff that there is utility in, and so when they ask, I want to be very clear, I'll give them whatever it is that I need, uh, making sure that it's within their range, and there is an agreement. So the expectation is no surprise, no voila. If I open the box, I'll pretend I'm surprised, but I already know this is coming. It reduces the stress for folks who are looking to get you gifts, it reduces the stress for you in terms of, you know, are you planning to get two of the same thing? None of the one that you want. So set the expectations, have an agreement, and boundaries as well, Stacey. When we talk about work, life, balance, boundaries.

Coach Stacy: 11:47

Yeah, Wayne. You know, it's so interesting, not to pick on my family, but um, my older sister in particular, she's also on LinkedIn and Facebook. Oh, she's on Facebook all the time. So now I already know I'm in trouble. Um, she, no matter what we say, if we say we're gonna do a secret Santa, so to speak, you know, one gift, you're gonna give one nice gift to one person, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. She's always coming, you know, she's always pushing the boundaries, and you know, then everybody's getting something, and and then, you know, I only bought one thing, and it's it's a it's a whole thing. And I've decided that I've already set the expectation. If we're doing one gift, that's what I'm doing. You want to do 55 gifts, God bless you.

Caoch Wayne: 12:40

Yep, no doubt. And again, boundaries are so important. Uh, when you're with your family, when you're in respite or relaxation, cut off the messages from work. You know, put your call on do not disturb, and certainly let the kids know at the dining table that no phones allowed. You know, I I've been to a place where where folks have a basket and they drop the phones, right? And until dinner is done. And that's important that we create these boundaries for each other and ourselves so that we can truly focus and be intentional about sharing in other people's presence.

Coach Stacy: 13:24

Absolutely, absolutely.

Caoch Wayne: 13:26

I couldn't agree with you more, and then of course, Stacey, um, there is the idea of financial concerns over the holidays. Excuse me.

Coach Stacy: 13:43

Sounded like you have a little issue there. Excuse it. Let me clear my throat.

Caoch Wayne: 13:50

Yeah, yeah. Curtis says he's the same way when it comes to the gifts. You gotta tell him what you want. If you don't, if you don't open up, they say the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Let them know what you need.

Coach Stacy: 14:05

Lord help us.

Caoch Wayne: 14:07

When it comes to dollars and cents, we gotta be sensible, and that requires it's it's it's it's a little late, but it's not too late. Advanced planning, right? If you're gonna be spending, recognize that just because you're purchasing the stuff doesn't mean that you can afford it, right? You're gonna be paying back that high interest rate credit card, and you're gonna be more indebted to get going. Uh, so it's sometimes not worth it. And if you plan in advance, of course, if you budget as well, you're in a much better state than not at all.

Coach Stacy: 14:54

Much better state. And one of the things you know you and I talked about as coaches is often when we're talking to clients, to people, um, we're trying to get to the root, right? The root of the behavior, the the root of uh the the issue or the action and thinking about spending and spending around the holidays, really, why are you spending? Are you let's just check in with that? Um, are you spending out of obligation? Are you spending because you're emotionally spending? You know, they talk about that retail therapy. Are you spending because you feel in some way that if you don't spend this amount of money or if you don't buy so-and-so this type of gift, that you will then be, I don't know, shunned or seen as less than, or somehow feel like you have not um performed, so to speak. And so when we think about advanced planning and smart spending, let's also think about why we're spending, you know, that for those of us that believe in Jesus Christ, it's not because the Lord needs all these gifts. That's not why we're spending. So, why are we spending? So, as you plan, as you are really being smart in your spending, think about why you're spending and make sure that you're touching base with what your emotions are saying, and if your spending is in any way related to your emotions, you know, it's disappearing, but a couple of Christmas ago, we gave our nieces and nephews gifts from uh Hate to Promote, but a store where you can buy gifts that the kids put together, like they make their stuff, a craft store.

Caoch Wayne: 17:08

Okay, we won't give any free push.

Coach Stacy: 17:12

Well, maybe maybe you give a free push, maybe there'll be a sponsor next month. You know what I'm saying? Go ahead.

Caoch Wayne: 17:17

So so so we got these gifts, and the kids could make their own airplanes and bridges and stuff, and they did it with their parents, and so uh it worked out. So you make them, and then if you want, you can paint them or whatever, and you store them. But the idea it's it's it's it's a novel idea today, considering that it's a lot easier to run over to a game store and buy a game and pop it in. But the idea that you can do something with your expenses that actually is an investment in the kids' educational growth. If you're talking about kids, and the same is true when it comes to uh whether you're buying for your parents or other people, you know, give them gifts of utility, and oftentimes that doesn't come with a brand name on it. Uh, plan in advance, Stacey. That's the key. The key is to plan and be frugal, not cheap, but frugal. If you know, as as Curtis says, that you're gonna burn a hole in your pocket.

Coach Stacy: 18:22

Yes, yes, yes. I think my mother and you know, maybe Curtis's lineage are related, you know. The that the money is gonna burn a hole in your pocket, that's why you're spending. Um, but it really won't. So that is one thing we know at this stage of the game, that you know, it is our responsibility to mind, to manage where our money goes. And so if you need help with that, you know, Wayne and I can help you. There are some good financial coaches we know, financial experts. You know, don't be out there floundering, especially when it comes to your dollars and cents, which you're gonna need as we age.

Caoch Wayne: 19:05

This may sound funny and it's dating us or dating me, but I was doing some research and found out that some credit unions and banks still have Christmas clubs or Christmas savings accounts. And there's one that's really this is smartypig.com. Ever heard of SmartyPig.com? Smartypig.com actually has a program where you put the money in and it has apparently variable interest rates depending on how much you're saving, but you can save it for uh events, a wedding, a birthday event, Christmas event, anything in particular. And for the Christmas package, I think in some cases, credit unions do them, but you can't take it out till November, and there's a penalty if you take it out early, and they have higher interest rates as well. But at smartypiggy.com, and and and no affiliation here, I get no money or nothing from this, you are able to take it out whenever you want, uh, and you get it in a lump sum, or they have affiliations with stores, and if you take it out as a gift card, you get an additional bonus from them with an interest higher return. They give you a up to a 12% bonus on your money's value at uh this place, smartypig.com. You can only do it online.

Coach Stacy: 20:40

Well, they better, they show enough better be a sponsor the next go. I definitely want to echo what Sister Audrey said about books. You talked about um buying things that that folks can learn from. Uh, and that's really a good adult uh gift as well. And really thinking about um the various forms that books come in nowadays. Um, it's also an easy gift to give. For sure.

Caoch Wayne: 21:10

I'm a bookworm, can't go wrong with getting me books, but even that I want to control, Stacey. I gotta give you the titles, just don't give me any old book.

Coach Stacy: 21:18

I'm I'm just I'm just gonna leave it to Ordry. There won't be anything under the tree, under your tree, from me this year. I'll just make sure to you know send you a text message. Merry Christmas!

Caoch Wayne: 21:30

Yep, and here's a big one, Stacy, that so many of us are concerned about, and that is physical health and wellness over the holidays. Very important whether it's about watching our weight or managing our mental health, that's a big one. Uh, how do you how do you propose we help the folks, Coach Stacy?

Coach Stacy: 21:53

Yeah, I think there's a lot there, Wayne. When I think about um physical health, one of the first things that comes to mind is sleep or rest, making sure that we're getting enough rest. And oftentimes, you know, we we're we've stressed ourselves to the point where we're feeling like um, you know, I've got to do this, I've got to do that. And we forget about rest. And rest is just so critical. That's the one I want to start with, rest, because I think that we don't talk about rest, we just you know talk about burnout around the holidays, but let's talk about the value of rest.

Caoch Wayne: 22:36

Yeah, and we mean true rest, which is not sleeping with one eye open, right? And minding whatever else is going on. Some of us we sleep like that, but true rest in terms of just removing ourselves sometimes, like we said earlier, cutting off and giving ourselves a chance to restore um and be bigger, better, bolder, stronger for the end of the season. Folks are concerned a lot, and this is every new year, tons of people show up at the gym. You can't get a machine in there because it's so crowded for the first three weeks. Everybody has a plan to drop the pounds or do something, right? Because of the oftentimes, not all the time, but oftentimes, the lack of the concern and intentionality and discipline over the holidays with how they consume, right? And and now they feel like they've gained too much weight. And I think what's important is getting an accountability partner, first being self-accountable, but getting a partner, somebody who can hold you true and say, hey, hey, that extra uh pumpkin pie.

Coach Stacy: 23:53

No, mac and cheese. All of it. And I think you know, Curtis says learning how to say no and not overextending ourselves. That includes our time, our rest, and yes, what we eat. Very important around the holidays, right? And that ability to um even take care of ourselves as we know that we might be putting a little extra on the plate. Like, well, if you're gonna put a little extra on the plate, make sure that you are also going to drink some extra water or you're also going to put some extra vegetables on the plate.

Caoch Wayne: 24:36

Yeah. You know, people of color, you know, we we like the gravy that sticks to the ribs. No, no, no, that's not a good idea. Uh it sticks to the ribs and and clogs the heart. So, what we would suggest is be just mindful, be intentional, portion control. You don't have to try every sample that's on the table. Some of it, your friends can tell you what it tastes like without you having to try it. It's all about the uh the intentionality and the self-accountability and discipline and and recognizing that if you really want to get off to a good start in the new year, it helps to end the old year uh at a at a at a place where you can leverage that good start.

Coach Stacy: 25:27

Yeah, I would jump in there and say, this is the time for the good start, right? It's time to start now. There's no reason for us to wait for December 31st, say, to change the way we eat or to make sure we start to go to bed earlier. There's no reason to put off uh until January 1 some of the things that we know we want to work on in 2025. Today is a is a good day to start. It's a good day to write down those goals um and and start a plan to accomplish them.

Caoch Wayne: 26:07

Yeah. And some people we want to acknowledge that there are people who don't celebrate this holiday season for what it's traditionally set up for, the Thanksgiving, because they think it's a misgiving, so to speak, and the Christmas holiday, depending on their faith and and everything else that they belong to in terms of culture. And what we want to say is it doesn't change the fact that it is a season where it's been celebrated, and so stores are closed and people are off. And so we still want to raise and uh your awareness and consciousness of how to get through it uh so that you line up, wind up taking advantage of your rest and your peace and your your monies and all of that. Don't get sucked in.

Coach Stacy: 26:49

Yeah, there are actually two things I would um point out there, although Curtis said sometime the gravy calls my name is that um you're right, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are celebrating any specific holiday or any of the holidays during this time, but um but there may be a more cultural relevance for the season for you. And you know, maybe it is a time that you traditionally gather with family in multi-generational settings, and you want to honor that and cherish that. Um, you know, maybe maybe it's a time that you are connecting with your family members and they are of different faiths than you. And so there's still um many of the tips and nuggets that we shared earlier are still applicable, right? Because we are very um community-oriented people, a very uh a large part of our culture is about connecting with each other. And despite the fragments that families may experience, we want to um maintain the relationships and nurture the ones that we have. And I think the other piece that doesn't is not uh kind of uh faith practice related is that of your spiritual health. So whether regardless of your practice, right, that this is a good time to remember to nurture your spiritual health. And you know, for me, it is it is very much centered on remembering why, you know, why I believe in Christmas and really keeping Christ at the center. Yet I recognize that for many of my colleagues, some of my friends, and you know, some people in my family, it is not that. But the the spiritual practices of um being grateful and and celebrating unity and being together, um, I think are things we don't want to lose sight of, despite what we believe.

Caoch Wayne: 29:12

Well said, Stacy. Appreciate that as we get ready to move on out and go base your turkey. Uh you did you start yet?

Coach Stacy: 29:26

Nah, ma'am, me make a no turkey thing.

Caoch Wayne: 29:30

Hey, listen, we got a lot of turkey all over this. Uh, let me stop. I was gonna say this is the year of the transition of turkeys. So, Stacy. Uh, next week we're gonna do something that uh is a little different. We intend to confirm up with a guest, but we'll hold that close until we start promoing it during the upcoming days. Um, but we expect to have a blast of a show next week, Tuesday. So, folks, please share the information with others to join us and join you to tune in same time next week. And Stacey, as far as us coaching, how can folks get to you real quickly?

Coach Stacy: 30:19

Well, you really can't get to me. No, I'm just messing around. Um, I would uh also encourage our followship um to just stay in touch with themselves and when they are feeling that disconnect, um, to remember that there are therapists and there are coaches, uh, and there are people that are really positioned to um to cheer you on and to help you move forward in ways that are um sorry, so there's Curtis. Uh to help you move forward in ways that are uh for you, right? Not necessarily in the tracks that others would have you, but that are really for you. Um, we are here for you. Yeah, how can folks reach you, Wayne?

Caoch Wayne: 31:14

Well, uh it's showing up on the screen for those who can see it. Otherwise, it's Wayne Dawson at VIP Transformative Living.com by email. Uh, visit the website, VIP Transform Transformative Living.com. And Stacey, for both of us, we are coming through now on Facebook, Live, and uh LinkedIn. They can just DM us.

Coach Stacy: 31:40

They sure enough can. Um, I'm grateful that people know how to get in touch with me and that they feel the desire. Um, it is my heart's desire to see midlife women thrive and um to see us as a people, as a community really moving forward in victory.

Caoch Wayne: 32:02

Yep, I like to tell my brothers it's never too late, you're never too old to live your best life. So, until we meet again next week, same time, it's Ciao Wow. Thanks for joining us. And there you have it, folks. This week's episode of the Midlife Revolution Unleashed. Hey, we truly appreciate your spending this time in this space with us. Join us next week at the same time as we dive into relevant topics and present solutions to spark new thinking and empower your midlife journey.

Coach Stacy: 32:40

And don't forget, if you enjoyed today's episode, let us know in the comments and share it with others. And of course, remember to subscribe, share, like, hit that notification bell. You are the midlife revolution unleashed. I'm Coach Stacy, and I'm cheering you on. And I'm Coach Wayne, and I'll see you at the top.